I’m sorry, but the coloring of the melted metal or plasma or whatever the hell that’s supposed to be makes me think of, uhh, the end result of liposuction. Yeah. A for effort?
Call me when they bring back the trash compactor, ‘kay?
Gift Guide: Santa Maul panders to his demographic
Santa Maul considers himself a gentleman of taste. This means he does not wear baseball caps, or any such gear reserved for the beer-swilling masses. As such, he finds these Star Wars baseball caps – while wildly creative – not the type of thing he would ever let near his perfectly-adequate head. But again, Santa Maul’s duty here is not to outfit himself, but you… Or friends with ridiculously pedantic taste in headgear. Santa Maul only points and comment: The rest is up to you. And at least none of them hold beer.
Gift guide: Underwear for geeks of the female persuasion
Santa Maul has no desire to be crude, but he suspects there are many ladies among his readership who will be amused by Thinkgeek’s HTTPanties.
If underthings are not yet an appropriate gift for the geeky women in one’s life, Santa Maul urges his friends to peruse their selection of women’s t-shirts or tech jewelry. (A familiar-looking pendant necklace is on the sale.) Of course, Santa Maul knows there is much among ThinkGeek’s selection that is appropriate for all genders, and even younglings.
Gift Guide: Santa Maul supposes that even the most craven of lightsiders deserve presents sometimes
Santa Maul has been advised that there are some among his readers who are not disposed to the bearded Obi-Wan, snarky scoundrels, or even the sheer magnetism of a dexterous bad boy. No, some even prefer heroes of the goody-goody persuasion. Santa Maul is puzzled, but he knows his duty, and thus recommends to deviants of the light Sideshow’s Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight Premium format figure. At least he is not dressed in beige.
As an additional bonus, Santa Maul finds the faux-epic ‘trailer’ soundtrack tickles his bone of funny.
Santa Maul has awakened! He wants a doughnut.
Santa Maul gave his Black Friday spiel last year, and he’s particularly cranky today, so will just get to it. Remember, the more shopping you do, the more websites Santa Maul gets to crash, and the happier he will become. Also, now he is on Twitter, where he will be posting any further deals he finds today.
- Another Sith whoring himself out for low, low prices… Star Wars Shop is apparently giving discounts. Santa Maul finds the Darth Vader alarm clock suitably schlocky for the occasion at hand.
- Speaking of schlock, Marc Ecko is giving away some stuff. Santa Maul was momentarily amused by the hoodies, but finds the rest rather tacky. Of course, he must accept that not everyone can reach his level.
- Thinkgeek has a coupon code for $10 off. Santa Maul yearns for a Samurai Sword Handle Umbrella but thinks that the USB humping dog is more likely to be appreciated by the teeming holiday masses.
- Entertainment Earth is also offering some Star Wars deals.
- Sideshow Collectibles has a 50% coupon code… But it only works on certain items. Santa Maul is sure you’re dying to own a statue of a giant slobbering slug.
In conclusion, humor.
Cute attack: Star Wars at Build-A-Bear Workshop
Even putting the Ewoks aside, fanmade Star Wars and other sci-fi themed teddy bears are nothing new, as a quick search on Flickr (and CJ’s own Lissy) will tell you.
But now we have something from the official realm to make it easier to please kids and collectors: Star Wars costumes from Build-a-bear Workshop. Currently they only have Clone Wars-inspired Anakin, Jedi (totally Obi-Wan,) and Rex, plus a Darth Vader and a themed pajama set. Will we see more movie-inspired styles? I suspect the Christmas sales rates will tell us… Dressed bears cost $40-$35, and the costumes alone go for $15-12. The Vader outfit is currently one of their top 20 products! (via)
Preorder the legendary Tauntaun sleeping bag now!
Both Thinkgeek and Star Wars Shop have the April Fools product made reality available for preorder right this minute.
Wacky merchandise: Lightsaber laser pointers
TFN spotted this amusing novelty product at – where else? – Thinkgeek. Taunt your pets and coworkers with them for a mere $14.99.
In less wacky and far more pricey lightsaber news, a Master Replicas saber signed by George Lucas, Samuel L. Jackson, Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor and Nick Gillard is being auctioned on eBay to raise money for the Northern Ireland Children’s Hospice.
Inevitable merchandise du jour: Jedi Bathrobe
Gift guide: Everyone loves clothing for Sithmas!
Santa Maul refuses to call Star Wars sports attire “the greatest Christmas present in the universe,” but he is willing to surrender some mean praise for this collection of hooligan-wear. He does not doubt that this gift may please any booze-soaked Fett-loving frat boys that one may be required to socialize with.
Santa Maul himself is eagerly awaiting a licensed collection of Sith tuxedos.