Star Wars with occasional sarcasm
There is some seriously crazy stuff in StarWars.com’s look at faddish Star Wars merchandise: My favorite is the Luke Skywalker Member’s Only jacket. I swear if I didn’t actually remember the pogs and holograms and foil promo cards I would write the whole post off as April Fools…
After the madness of April Fool’s, the inflatable starships and Death Star beach ball really don’t get much more than a shrug. Hell, they’re actually kind of adorable… And I really don’t know where else to tell you I saw the kites at Sam’s Club for $20. $20!
Of course, after that mocking last month, it’s Clone Wars themed. And French. Oh, Lucasfilm.
Yes, these Twilight conversation hearts are for real: I actually saw them in Borders today. Some of them have glitter and one says “Dazzle.” IT’S LIKE THEY’RE SPOOFING THEMSELVES.
Of course, the Twilight folks are breaking no records here: The infamous Jar Jar lollipop beats this by miles and miles. But it gave me a good laugh this morning.
A set of four Stargate coasters could be yours for $29.95 next month. I don’t even know what to say. (They look slippery?) Paula? I’ll just be over there looking at the BSG propaganda or the Blue Sun travel posters. Ohh, a Cylon! (via)
On the left, your standard Disney/Star Wars mashup to accompany Star Wars Weekends. On the right, Minnie Mouse in the slave Leia getup. WHY DISNEY WHY? Also, now I want to know who Disney would cast as Jabba. The caterpillar?
It’s not exactly the Dr. Manhattan condom or even the Force Trainer, but J.J. Abrams’ Trek movie does have some serious WTFery going on in the merchandising department, entering the realm of fragrance:
“Tiberius,” in honor of James Kirk’s middle name; “Pon Far,” touted as the Klingon version of “Passion”; and “Red Shirt,” named after the poor, red-shirted souls who never survive the episode.
A Red Shirt fragance, because there’s nothing quite like the smell of fail in the morning, huh? (And pon farr is Vulcan, not Klingon.) They’re not the first media property to branch out: Twilight did get there (and sued!) first. Still, Trek does seem like a reach.
Of course, should it be successful as more than an internet laughingstock and Lucasfilm chose to peruse this new market for Star Wars, there is really only one possible choice for a theme.
Both StarWars.com and Rebelscum are covering the reveals heavily… I can’t even begin to catch up at this point! Above, a Dagobah Frog Habitat from Uncle Milton, another ‘Seriously?’ item from the brains behind the Force Trainer.
UPDATE: More Force Trainer action at Gizmodo.
Rebelscum has a couple of galleries from Toy Fair… Not much EUish from Diamond Select. (Though their Jedi Luke looks nice.) The real gems, as usual, come from Hasbro and their comic packs. There’s a bunch of Clone Wars stuff I can’t even begin to catagorize… And a Marvel-era Luke and Lumiya! (Removable head? How apt!)
Heading into a more modern comic era, Legacy’s Darth Krayt and an Imperial Knight who I believe is Sigil Dare, plus Kyle Katarn and Beefy the Vong (probably not his real name,) above. (Based on a late Tales storyline?)
Here’s the Hasbro press release and official images. And here is their Star Wars presentation, shedding a little more light on their offerings… Including a Wal-Mart exclusive Corran Horn figure!
UPDATE: A report on the Turbo Tank and more photos from StarWars.com.