Twelve geeky Barbie dolls, but no Star Wars

These are not Barbies. Though they are almost bobbleheads.Topless Robot lists off the 12 greatest Barbie dolls for nerds, including multiple Treks. Who better to wear those short skirts?

As we’ve already addressed many times, I’m the furthest thing there is from a collecting expert, but I don’t think we’ve ever seen a legitimate Star Wars Barbie produced. (Somehow I doubt Kenner or Hasbro even allowed Mattel to think about it.) Which is really a pity, considering how many outfits the prequels produced. And yes, there is Sideshow, but there’s just something about Barbie, in all her opiate-of-the-masses glory.

Hallmark’s Star Wars ornaments for 2009

It’s May, so of course the Dream Book is out, because nothing says spring like planning out your Christmas tree. This year’s Star Wars selections are include The Phantom Menace duel (above,) Han in Stormtrooper gear, Luke’s landspeeder, and a Clone Wars twofer of Anakin and Ahsoka.

Also of interest: Indiana Jones, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Ghostbusters and my personal grinchy favorite, the Wicked Witch of the West.

(Thanks, Rach!)

Wacky merchandise: Darth Vader alarm clock

That image is clearly an illustration, but the concept is still super-creepy.

New for sleepy Star Wars fans of all ages is Sakar’s Darth Vader Alarm Clock Radio ($29.99). It’s shaped as an actual replica of Darth Vader’s helmeted head and includes an AM/FM radio, snooze button, full-featured alarm clock with three sound effects to choose from for the alarm, and an audio jack input by which kids can plug in portable devices and run the audio through its speakers. But beware the Dark Side: the time glows red through the Sith Lord’s eyes!

Yes, nothing says up-and-at’em like a disembodied head with glowing numbers for eyes. (via)

Marvel tries for ‘female product,’ kinda fails

Yes. They're in a band, apparently.This would actually be kind of hilarious if it wasn’t rather sad… Marvel has apparently decided that the trick to getting girls to buy their merchandise are… Chibis and cosmetics. And yes, they actually use the term ‘female product.’ Seriously!

“Since our core customer has always been guys, we need to be very careful when we introduce female product so that we don’t alienate our core,” said Paul Gitter, president of consumer products, North America, for Marvel Entertainment Inc. “What we have found through testing is that we haven’t alienated them, which gives us the OK to move forward with female product.”

Yes, god forbid they alienate the menfolk.

Points for trying, I guess, but isn’t there some kind of middle road here? Do they really have to go over to the hearts-and-pink-things side – or define ‘female’ as ‘preteen’ – to get women to buy merchandise? (Via Maggiesox, who has her rant on.)