Tina Fey and Amy Poehler ‘reveal’ their Episode VII roles

What with the Golden Globe blitz beginning (you go, Tatiana Maslany,) power hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are guest-editing this week’s Entertainment Weekly – and naturally they’re taking on Star Wars. Sort of.

The comedians joke that they’re playing “really naggy mothers of Darth Vader.”

FEY: [In an elderly New Yorker accent] “Darth, eat! Why don’t you eat?” That kind of stuff.

POEHLER: “You’re never gonna find a girl when you go out looking like that!”

FEY: Making him practice his Jedi stuff for hours.

POEHLER: Hitting on all his Jedi friends inappropriately. I feel like the theme of the next Star Wars is going to be: How does a working mother juggle it all? I’m looking forward to that. What I like about all these giant superhero movies is that they speak to the issues that I’m dealing with right now — working mother and time management and how to be an interesting, sexual, curious woman in your 40s. That’s the kind of stuff that I like to see on the screen, and that’s what I see with a lot of the films out today.

Even J.J. Abrams is playing along: “The exciting thing about having Amy and Tina play the Vader Moms, as we’re calling them, is that they bring to the film that pitch-perfect Star Wars energy fans are clamoring for.”

Somewhere, someone is taking all this at face value. Let’s pretend we don’t see them.

Disney and Paramount have an agreement on Indiana Jones, paving the way for more films

IMAGE: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Disney and Paramount have reached an agreement regarding the Indiana Jones franchise, Variety reports today. Disney retains Lucasfilm’s ownership rights but gains “distribution and marketing rights to future films.” Paramount will continue to distribute the first four films and will receive “financial participation” on future ones.

There have been rumblings of an Indy 5 since Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came out, and actions on it have been rumored to be a part of Harrison Ford’s still unconfirmed Episode VII contract.

Drew McWeeny of HitFix speculates that this could lead to other actors taking on the iconic fedora:

…Only truly deranged and damaged people would take something as rich with potential as Indiana Jones and then just remake the movies that already exist. “Raiders Of The Lost Ark,” “Temple Of Doom,” and “The Last Crusade” should all be considered canon, and if you’re going to make new movies, then do it in a way that works around those films, not that tries to replace them.

Indiana Jones as the new James Bond? Well, as McWeeny points out, the character has already been played by four others besides Ford. I certainly prefer the idea to simply remaking Raiders of the Lost Ark or The Last Crusade, but it’s hard to imagine anyone stepping into Ford’s shoes. (Yeah yeah, Nathan Fillon, blah blah blah noshitcakes. At least try and think outside the box, fancasters.)

And our final word:

Sigh.

The Clone Wars gets 2 Annie nominations

The Clone Wars Season Five

While we are eagerly awaiting news of how the bonus content for The Clone Wars will take shape, the show picked up nominations for the 41st Annie Awards, given out for the best in animation. Announced by ASIFA-Hollywood, nominations for The Clone Wars included two individual achievement categories: Keith Kellogg for Character Animation in an Animated Television/Broadcast Production and Jason W.A. Tucker for Editorial in an Animated TV/Broadcast Production. The nominations were released today, and the award winners will be announced in February.

Our frequent interviewee Michael Price, writer of the LEGO Star Wars specials earned a nomination for Writing in an Animated TV/Broadcast Production for his work on The Simpsons. Juried awards have already been announced, including the Winsor McCay Awards to Steven Spielberg and Phil Tippett.

ILM also continued its streak of Annie award nominations, with four nominations, three of them in a single category of Animated Effects in a Live Action Production (two different teams for Star Trek Into Darkness and one for Pacific Rim). Another Pacific Rim ILM team got a nomination for Character Animation in a Live Action Production.

Horrors of Twilight: Chuckesmee

Chuckesmee

Behold: The original robot baby Rensemee. It’s been a while since we’ve talked Twilight – why kick the dead horse? But when something this horrifying emerges, you can’t just ignore it. (via)

I hope that doll is still around – it’ll be perfect for the ineventable horror remake/parody. And of course, the most important question: Better or worse than the felt womb?