I have returned, once again, to guide you with my wisdom. Yes, your fearless captain, Hondo Ohnaka, is back to tell you who to pick in the starwars.com ‘This Is Madness’ character tournament in the penulti… pe… second to last round. This round will decide which light side character and which dark side character will face off to see who the champion is.
On both sides, we have a bunch of those laser-sword wielding Jedi and Sith. For the light side, it’s Luke Skywalker against Rey. And right now, Luke has the lead against Rey. Both grew up on the Outer Rim without their parents, only to be shown a larger galaxy by a mentor who was killed by a Sith in a mask, and then started to learn about their Jedi skills. Also, both are good pilots. But I think I will pick Rey, because she had a tougher lot – Luke had his uncle and aunt and got to live on a farm. Rey had no one and lived in a crashed walker. That can’t be good for your back. Plus she can fly the Falcon, which I hear is a pretty good ship. Not as good as one of my ships, but perhaps close. So Rey.
On the dark side, there’s Darth Vader and his grandson Kylo Ren. And Vader has a big lead right now. So I’m going to go with that. I think Kylo will probably get mad though, and smash up some stuff. Or punch his side to get him pumped up to smash some stuff. But Vader – I hear he just fought off his apprentice, Ahsoka Tano, and she is a serious Jedi. or serious former Jedi. And my friend. So I don’t like Vader at all, but I do respect him from a distance. Vader.
And for the finals. I’m going to assume that Darth Vader wins the dark side. If he goes against Luke Skywalker, I say vote Luke, because as you know, Luke beat his father at Endor, and that counts. If he goes against Rey, I say vote Rey, because I don’t want Vader to win. Yes, just vote for the light side, since they are more likely to not put me out of business.