D*C: Liveblogging the Masquerade

Hi! Rogue, Beth, Fen, Paula, Caitlin, Maggie and Dunc here, with Club Jade’s first attempt at live blogging. We’re in a hotel room at the lovely Atlanta Hyatt, watching the D*C Masquerade on the TV. No way in hell were we actually going to try to get the thing. Nothing is worth that line. Plus, probably no wifi.

Any minute now, I’m sure. Stay tuned!

8:21: Oh! Stormtroopers! It’s starting!

8:23 Oooh! Graphics!

8:24 Wait, now we’re back to the fake commercials. Sithbusters? What? Where’s the Masquerade? (P.S.: They can’t aim.)

8:25 Oh, I see. The Mythbusters guys are M.C.ing. Also, no one can open the chips.

8:26: Hehe, Harry Potter takeoff. Grant and Keri!

8:28: Introducing the judges. Who are these guys? The voice dude from Police Academy? Oh, these are qualified costume judges. (Okay, the voice guy is funny.)

8:30: Children! Are they baked or fried? Baked, Beth says.

8:32: A well-groomed gentlemen Pirate (Aww!) An overeager witch, and a fairy who looks a bit too old.

8:33 Stargaters find Tatooine? Or not? We’re so confused.

8:34 It’s the emo anime poetry entry!

8:35 Yay, working crossbrow! And another anime person. We still don’t get it.

8:36 Longest. Announcement. Ever. We caught none of it. Child-size lightsaber duels, that’s what we need! It’s dreadful fan fiction.

8:38 Seriously, we don’t get it.

8:39 Wee Amidala! Awwww! She’s so scared, mom has to lead her off.

8:40 Kingdom Hearts? The kid is cute, I guess. And here’s our last kid, some little Pokemon girl. THANK YOU.

8:41: Micheal Winslow gets the mike. Alchemy rules! Whoo, stalling for time!

8:45: Bad joke time. Oh god, make it end.

8:46: Rogue burps.

8:49: Amidala wins Best Toddler. Still scared. Crossbow kid wins next. Then Kingdom Hearts and baby pirate and we still have no idea. Honorable mentions for everyone! Best in Show is the incomprehensible Star Wars group. Yeah, okay.

8:50: Adult division, finally.

8:51 It’s a Care Bear. First entry in the horror category.

8:52 It’s the Aerosith Palpatine. Yawn. And some dude in an orange wig. Who?

8:53: Hagrid! Dang, that’s a lot of hair. And now he’s talking to the audience. Yer sketch is too long, Hagrid!

8:54: Well, the cloak is nice…

8:57: Bellydancing guy. He’s buff, but it’s kinda scary.

8:59: Inflexible Buffy. She’s fighting. Someone slay her, please. We can’t watch.

9:00: And she loops. STORMTROOPERS! In the immortal words of Alex Trek: No, you’re not.

9:02: Tonks and Padfoot dance-off. Might be more effective if ‘Padfoot’ wasn’t camouflaged. At least we’re all together to share the pain. We need quaaludes.

9:04: Real Men of Genius: The Imperial Storm Janitor. Really funny – until Orange Wig showed up.

9:05: “This is a sneak peek of her upcoming fanfic.” FAIL.

9:08: Scary overweight anime fan. Off the stage before his intro is over. Yay!

9:09: Hogwarts hires Scooby Doo and friends for Defense Against the Dark Arts. We’re mildly amused. Until Dumbledore starts dancing to the theme. Keri is confused and we are saddened.