D*C: Liveblogging the Masquerade, cont.

9:10
Keri: “I swear they sold me E back in the 90’s.”
“Hairy Monster from Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half century.”
“He felt up Keri!”

9:12
Grant: “Do you need a minute?”
Keri: “I need a rape shower.”
“I sense a sword dance coming.
“Yay! No sword dance!”

9:14
“This is not looking good.”
Total f****in’ silence.
“You suck.”
“What the hell?”
“What’s going on?”

9:15
Several start humming the ‘Oh Ee Oh’ song from Wizard of Oz.
“No more exposition!”

9:17 and we are still suffering.
“At least they are showing off the costumes.”
“Kill the skit.”
“Stupid Wicked fangirls.”
“Troopers. Troopers……….etc”
“Hook!”
“Someone slapped someone. Excellent!”
“Oh no, no”
“Cat fight!”
“Troopers”

9:19
“It was five minutes of pain.”
Grant: “Someone got witch slapped.”
“Grant broke Kari!”

9:20
“If they are functional, you better fly buddy.”
“18 feet?”
“Are they stuck?”
“She’s going to need that rape shower again.”

9:21
Luke Ski.
“He said 90 seconds. All right!”
“He said 90 seconds, right?”
“90 seconds is too long.”

9:23
“Oh, don’t suck. Common'”
“Yep, it sucks.”
“It sucks bad”
“He’s got a sweatsuit.”
“Stormtroopers!”
“Inflatable pecs?”

9:26
“Oh, it’s another lightsaber duel.”
“It’s fan fiction with a score!”
“Synchronized lightsaber swinging! The new Olympic event!”
“This sucketh.”
“That’s the last trial – you have to sit through the nasty cello score.”

9:28
King of the trolls!
“That’s awesome.”
“If he gets off the stage quickly, I’ll like him.”
Applause!

9:22
“Why the wings?”
“She just can’t take them off.”
“Oh no”
“No,no, no.”
“Go away”
“this guy should have been a Spartan.”
“He’s dancing.”
“That’s not a costume. It is a Santa hat and a skirt.”

9:31
Dragon as a chastity guard.
“She’s wearing way more clothes than I thought she would.”
“All right. That didn’t suck.”

A female Predator.
“At least it was quick.”

Impressive Jack Skellington.
“Is it the guy who did Grevious?”
Keri: “Who was that ninja following Skellington?”

9:34
“Too many people.”
“Please at least be able to dance.”
Backstreet Boys.
“Oh dear God.”
“Why are there Jedi and some other weird stuff?”
“Oh you are done. Get off the stage.”
“Troopers please!” (Paula is pleading. This is baaaad.)

9:36
“Do not take your shirt off unless you are a Spartan.”
“Oh God, I am blind!”
Troopers arrive to save the day!!!!!!!
Grant: “He made at least two dollars from that!”

9:37
“How many genres can we combine in one?”
“It’s Gary Stu!”

9:39
Man-thing!
“He has green pubic hair?” (Sorry.)
“That is a really good costume.”

9:41
“Wait, that was Mr. Freeze?”

9:43
…Wonder Twins?
“Do something!”

9:44
“That caterpillar is stoned!”
“That is pretty damn cool.”
“Instant Breast reductions?”
Grant: “Well, that was an existential experience for me.”

9:48
A giant Transformer.
“And the fanboys go wild!”
And he’s transforming? No.

9:49
Witchblade.
“This is the same girl from Comic-Con! She sucked then, too!”
Keri: “Do you need a minute? A Kleenex?”

9:50
Please don’t let this be a gothic Tinkerbell.
“I thought she had Tribbles on her outfit for a second there.”
“It’s actually a pretty decent costume, but what does it have to do with Tinkerbell?”

9:53
“STORMTROOPERS!”
“Seriously, what does this have to do with Peter Pan?”

9:54
“They had this idea for six months and never practiced? What?”
“Does she think she’s Gambit?”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“Will something please happen?”
Yay! Stormtroopers!

9:56
It’s a puppety thingee.
“But why?”
“Get off the stage quickly!”
“They both look horrified, and rightly so.”
Grant: “Let’s move on.”
Keri: “Shake it off.”

9:57
“Hulk fall off stage. Hulk suck.”

9:58
“Ohh, tassels.”
Wait, duct tape pirates?
“Okay, that’s pretty impressive.”

9:59
“I am Data. James Data.”
“No, you’re not.”

10:00
Grant: “When Timmy wishes for a TV character to come to life.”
“What’s that Lassie? Timmy’s a girl?”
“Do not assume we know what your characters are!”
“That was bad. That was terrible.”
“At least it was short.”

10:01
Something from Space 1999?
“That’s actually pretty good.”

10:02
“Wait… that’s Hot Fuzz?”
“You don’t parody a parody.”
“That was… okay.”

10:02
“Damn, that’s a good Silent Bob.”
“Mercifully short!”

10:04
“Flailing!”
Tragic fan accident!

10:05
Whiskey required?
“Made entirely out of…other stuff.”
I am a leaf on the wind.
“And we shall call it….this land.”
Cardboard cutouts of Wash’s dinosaurs!
Grr….Argh!
And the room rejoices.
“That wasn’t even a costume, but it was AWESOME!”

10:08
Sailor Moon and Moulin Rouge?!
“I have to go throw up.”
“Hey. They actually practiced.”
“They are choreographed.”
“Horrifying, but they’re pulling it off.”
“Oh. They’re going to do the whole song.”
“Oh, no.”
“This is a long song.”
“This would do really well at an anime convention.”
“The only choreography of the day.”
“Unnecessary crotch shot!”
“Good idea, but they’ve overstayed their welcome badly.”
“No, sir.”

10:13
The Song of Ice and Fire
“Awww. Cuteness!”
Based on descriptions from the novel.
“Buttricks 6642?”

10:14
Much Ado About Nothing.
A real costumer!
They looked the part.
And short!

10:15
Imperial Knight from Dark Horse Comics
“Endless pimping, but a really good costume. Beautiful work.”
Long live Star Wars!

LAST ONE!
10:16
We know these people.
Wallace and Gromett! The best for last.
They’re geeking out. Our hosts are geeking out.
The room is geeking out.
We have adorableness here.
And they said they weren’t good? Those are good!
Why isn’t the audience going crazy?
Um. What are waiting for?
Camera person, please pull out so we can see what’s going on.
Oh. My. God. The were-rabbit!
“They’re local to Atlanta, so they don’t have to fly these huge costumes around.
Amazing.”
Now the audience goes nuts.
“BEST IN SHOW! BEST IN SHOW!”
“Not that they weren’t awesome, but everyone else sucked.”

10:19
And the judging takes forever.

Oh, good. Cartoons!

We’ll be back with the results in a NEW POST.