Club Jade

We’ve had a run of absolutely ridiculous and obscenely priced ‘wacky’ merchandise, so here’s something that really is just silly: An alarm clock based on the training remote from A New Hope. You throw it to deactivate the alarm, which is probably safer than swinging at it with a lightsaber. Or so I hope. (via)

Leave it to Japan… A company over there is producing gold and silver sculptures of Artoo and Threepio – actual gold and silver – for the 35th anniversary of Star Wars. According to Highsnobiety, they go for $1,800 and $6,000 USD, limited to 35 each, and will be available in May.

So, for $6,000 you can get a life-sized Darth Malgus… Or a gold Threepio? No idea how big these things are, but clearly there are way too many overly-solvent Star Wars fans out there, and Lucasfilm (or someone…) is fully committed to parting them from that money. Bless.

Well, of course there’s a lightsaber night light. Of course.

Now, if you’ve paid any attention around here, you’d no I have little to no use for anything having to do with Star Wars gaming. So, needless to say, I am not particularly impressed with this $6000 life-sized statue of Old Republic Vader wannabee Darth Malgus. This goes beyond wacky, right into Frames territory. Though, honestly, if I had that much money to waste on absurdly expensive Star Wars merchandise, I’d rather have a set of Frames. Or two.

Malgus, for what it’s worth, was the star of a novel, Paul Kemp’s The Old Republic: Deceived.

I feel quite safe in saying that Santa Maul would not approve of the R2-D2 Can Cooler. Bubba Fett, however, will love it. (via)

Got a kid, or kid-sized feet? Want shoes a little less, shall-we-say, collectible than the Adidas line? Well nerds, Stride Rite has you covered with a variety of Star Wars shoes for children and toddlers, including a few light-up pairs like the one above. (via)

Joining the latest parade of Phantom Menace tie-ins is Gogurt, which is packaging their yogurt in glow-in-the-dark lightsaber packaging. Neat, sure. Until you get to the part where they call it a ‘Slurp Saber,’ at which everyone with a remotely dirty mind facepalms their brains out. Way to go, marketing geniuses!

Ready to take your furry fetish to the next level – but not quite ready to rock the full Wookiee suit? Hot Topic is now offering a fuzzy Chewbacca hoodie and Chewbacca fur hat. For those whose obsession may be more dimutive, the Ewok knit hat.

Looking for the perfect wall treatment for your Star Wars room? ThinkGeek is now selling Super7′s Imperial Forces Wallpaper. Hand-screened and flocked, this paper is officially licensed and ready to go. And, best of all – from a distance, who can tell? That’s class.

Curiously geeky? British site Play.com is offering mints in containers shaped like R2-D2, Darth Vader, a stormtrooper and the Death Star. But, let’s face it: The Artoo is best.