Tag Archives: crime

Punching Darth Vader’s wife probably not the best idea

An Englishman named Ikbal Hare was in court for hitting the wife of his neighbor: Darth Vader.

Hare suspected that Vader had been romancing his girlfiend, Kerry Campbell, according to the Birmingham Mail. Mrs. Vader tried to get between the two and “was struck on the right cheek.” Hare admitted the assault, among other charges, and was “given an 18-month community order coupled with 18 months’ supervision” as well as 200 hours of unpaid work within the community.

Vader, previously Mark Nokes, changed his name for charity.

Oregon Jedi wannabe gets jail time

David Allen Canterbury, the man who attacked customers with lightsabers at an Oregon Toys R Us, has been sentenced to 45 days in jail and a mental health evaluation that could lead to treatment. He pleaded no contest to charges of fourth-degree assault and resisting arrest, while the judge dismissed charges of of interfering with a police officer, theft and disorderly conduct.

Canterbury has a previous conviction for possession of heroin.

Chewbacca wanted in Florida shooting

It’s a Christmas crime wave! Alas, unlike the ‘Jedi’ in Oregon, the West Palm Beach ‘Chewbacca’ was packing some actual firepower: He fired several shots over the roof of a vehicle, and is believed to be part of a gang “seeking retaliation for a drug rip off.”

West Palm Beach Police were dispatched to the 1300 block of 11th Street to reports of a shooting on Nov. 30. They later learned from the woman who witnessed the shooting that a man wearing a Chewbacca mask, along with 19-year-old Jodeci Lamar Window and 21-year-old Mario D. Johnson, had driven up to the home and began firing.

Just like in the Star Wars movies, Chewbacca played the role of sidekick in the West Palm Beach shooting, while sitting in the front passenger seat of the car. The woman identified Window as the driver and Johnson as the backseat passenger, according to a probable cause affidavit.

Both of Chewbacca’s pals have been arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. The Wookiee is still at large.

Jedi wannabe terrorizes Oregon Toys R Us

A 33-year-old man was arrested Wednesday night for assaulting people with a lightsaber at an Oregon Toys R Us. Apparently he was not without some skill:

Officers tried to arrest the man, but he kept swinging the light saber at them, Simpson said. One tried to use his Taser on the suspect but the device didn’t work.

Another officer used his Taser and made contact, but the man knocked one of the wires away with the light saber.

The man was arrested and taken to the hospital for a “mental evaluation.” None of his victims required medial attention, but the ‘Jedi’ faces criminal charges. (via)

German police stop drunk-driving Yoda

The 42-year-old driver dressed as Yoda was returning home from a Halloween party early Sunday morning when he had a collison that “lightly” injured a pedestrian. The police caught him, confiscated his license, and made him walk home.

“The officers were especially surprised to see … Grand Master Yoda at the wheel,” said the statement from police in the city of Darmstadt, near Frankfurt in western Germany.

“The hapless Jedi returned home on foot,” said police. “In this case, the force was not with him.”

Perhaps next time he’ll be wise enough to enlist Obi-Wan as a designated driver.

‘Jedi Master’ gets up to 20 years in jail for beating

A man who was so hopped up on prescription pills and alcohol that he thought he was Obi-Wan Kenobi has been sentenced to eight to 20 years in a Pennsylvania prison for brutally beating up his roommate. Kids, this is why you don’t do drugs.

Of course, you don’t need mind-altering substances to do something stupid (NSFWish) though getting banned from Walmart certainly pales in comparison to jail time.

“Darth Vader” robs Get & Go in suburban Detroit

Darth Vader is loose in Metro Detroit! A not-too-bright criminal put on a Darth Vader mask to rob a Get & Go store in Ferndale on Monday. The police have him on video, though – before he put the mask on.

At least the cops have a sense of humor about it:

“I guess he didn’t have a light saber with him,” said Ferndale Police Lt. William Wilson. “When he walked up to the male clerk he pulled out a butcher knife and demanded money.”

(In other news, if you’re a law-abiding Star Wars fan in the area, some folks are trying to relaunch the local FanForce, R2-Detroit, with a meeting at the Oakland Mall Borders on Saturday.)

UPDATE: Pictures of the robbery and an arrest is made.