Turning over a new spit: Cooking with Club Jade

Classic.

I’ve been hanging around fandom a long time. But now, every year brings less and less Star Wars that actually appeals to me. The Old Republic? Not a gamer. The saga in 3-D? Meh. Novels focused on brand-new characters? That’s what the rest of the SF/F section is for. The Clone Wars? No thanks.

And there are so many news blogs out there right now, run by young, fresh names and faces. You don’t need us anymore.

So what’s left that really excites us about Star Wars? Why are we still here? What is the deep dark secret of Club Jade?

Ewoks.

Baked, fried, and grilled, Ewok is a delicacy that Club Jade just can’t get enough of. Many years ago, we published The Ewok Cookbook. It’s been out of print for years, but of all our varied projects, nothing is closer to our heart — and our stomachs. And, finally, we want to share some of our favorite recipes with you. Here are a few selections:

Appetizer: Yav’s Pureed Ewok Dip

Rich and smooth in texture, this can be served as a first course or as a
lovely addition to almost any meal.

6 cups ground Ewok
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
4 cloves garlic, pressed
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin seeds
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
salt and pepper to taste
2 tablespoons capers
2 tablespoons olive oil mixed with 1/2 teaspoon sweet Hungarian paprika
lemon wedges
warmed pita bread

Puree the Ewok in batches in a blender or food processor with the oil, lemon juice, and garlic. Add a little water if necessary for a creamy and smooth consistency. Add the cumin and salt, pepper, and cayenne.

Spread the dip in a shallow dish or serve in individual small bowls. Garnish with a sprinkling of capers and a drizzle of the paprika-olive oil. Serve with lemon wedges and warmed pita bread.

If Ewok is unavailable or out of season, replace with six cups of drained white beans (navy, pea or great northern) from a can. Or you can cook your own, using 2 cups dried beans.

Dunc’s Drunken Ewok Fajitas

These are always a big hit around the house. Who doesn’t love fajitas? And who doesn’t love tequila? In the olden days, you liquored up your Ewoks just before you slaughtered them, but let’s face it: It’s easier to marinate the meat after the fact, and more importantly, it means more tequila for you.

The marinade recipe will make enough to cover approximately one pound of Ewok flank steak. You can either leave the flank whole or cut it in strips cut across the grain, depending on how you plan to cook it.

Ewok marinade
1/3 cup lime juice (3 large or 5 small limes)
1/4 cup tequila (Tequila!)
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon cilantro
1 teaspoon oregano
4 cloves of garlic chopped fine
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon kosher salt

Pour the marinade over your flank steak in a glass or plastic container. (I use a 1-gallon zip-top bag and pretty much just dump it all over the meat as I measure it.) Mix well, and refrigerate overnight.

When it’s cooking time, remove the steak and discard the marinade. You can either roast it over the coals on a grill (if whole) or use a large skillet or wok over high heat on the stove. (If using strips, work in batches.) Slice half a large onion and a couple of green, red, or yellow peppers and fry them up in a second pan with a little vegetable oil and salt until limp: Combine and serve on tortillas with plenty of guacamole!

Ewok not in season? Beef is an acceptable substitute.

Appetizer: Missi’s Ewok Puffs

1 cup Ewok broth
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon salt
dash celery salt
4 eggs
1/2 cup finely chopped Ewok

Combine broth and shortening, bring to boil.

Add flour and seasonings, beat to form ball.

Remove from heat. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.

Fold in Ewok, drop by spoonfuls into non stick muffin cups.

Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes.

if Ewok is not available, chicken broth and meat may be used. And in
lieu of muffin cups, you may drop the mixture onto a greased cookie sheet. However the puffs will be less uniform in shape and appearance.

Jaina’s Ewok Imperial

2 cups fine dry bread crumbs
3/4 cup Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup chopped parsley
2 teaspoons salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted
Ewok pieces

Mix together first 6 ingredients.

Dip Ewok pieces in melted butter, then coat with bread crumb mixture.

Place in shallow baking pan and drizzle with any remaining butter.

Bake covered at 350 degrees for 1/2 hour, then uncovered 20 to 30 minutes until golden brown.

Can also be used as an appetizer with bite-sized pieces of boneless Ewok, reducing cooking time. Freezes well before cooking.

If Ewok is unavailable, boneless chicken breasts may be used.

Grand Admiral Sean’s Kung Pao Ewok

Shelled, unsalted peanuts
8 small dried red chilies
1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 tablespoons vinegar
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons sugar
1 red pepper, cut into 1” squares
1 teaspoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1 lb. Ewok, cut into small pieces
1/2 teaspoon salt
corn starch

In a small bowl, combine soy sauce, vinegar, sugar, and sesame oil; set aside. Preheat wok (the pan, not the critter) over medium heat until hot, then pour in peanut oil. Add salt and chilies; cook until chilies are charred. Add ginger and garlic; stir-fry until fragrant and lightly browned. Increase heat to high; add bell pepper and stir-fry until pepper is seared (30 sec – 1 min.) Add ‘wok (the critter, not the pan) a handful at a time. Stir-fry until meat is fully cooked. Add reserve sauce mixture and peanuts (As many as you like). Continue stir-frying for 1-2 minutes, then add a pinch of corn starch to thicken sauce. Remove wok (both the pan AND the critter) from heat and serve.

Feeds 2 – 4.

CAUTION: This is a spicy recipe, and will likely cause runny noses at mealtime. Keep Kleenex handy. Also, the cooking of ginger, garlic, chilies, and peppers is very hard on the nose. I don’t recommend cooking this if you have asthma.

(If Ewok is unavailable, use chicken breast.)

PG’s Ewoussaka

For our more adventurous eaters…

2 small eggplants, cut into 1/4″ slices
1 medium onion chopped
2 teaspoons virgin olive oil
1 clove minced garlic
1 lb. lean, ground Ewok
1/4 teaspoon mace (Not the Jedi Master or the weapon)
1/3 cups parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
2 eggs
1 cup milk
salt and pepper to taste
may also use oregano sparingly

Deep Fry eggplant, drain and reserve. (Deep frying is kinda scary. Ask an old person who used to cook like this all the time to do this part.) Sauté chopped onions in the oil; lift out and reserve. Brown Ewok in oil remaining from the onion sautéing. Throw in garlic just before meat is completely browned. Remove from heat and blend in sauce and spices. In baking dish, layer eggplant with meat mixture. Beat eggs & milk together and pour over the top of baking dish contents. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes or until lightly browned and bubbly.

Serve with a cucumber, olive and feta salad, bread sopped in olive oil and baklava for dessert. Enjoy an after dinner Ouzo to complete the themed evening.

Ideal for those exuberant post-battle celebrations on Endor when the little creatures are running rampant and their guards are down.

OPAH!

Kelly’s Traditional Mince-Ewok Meat Filling

(Makes 7 quarts… can be stored and used later)

5 lb. boneless Ewok stew meat
1 tablespoon salt
4 lb. seedless raisins, soaked in warm water for 15 minutes, drained and coarsely chopped
4 lb. dried currants, soaked in warm water for 15 minutes and drained
1 lb. candied citron, thinly sliced
9 lb. tart apples, cored, peeled, and finely chopped
4 tablespoons ground cinnamon
2 tablespoons ground cloves
2 tablespoons ground ginger
4 whole nutmegs, grated
1/3 cup fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
1 teaspoon pepper
2 lb. sugar
1 quart apple juice, boiled until reduced by half, or red-currant juice or grape juice
1 quart molasses or maple syrup
2 tablespoons syrup from sweet pickles (optional)
8 tablespoons butter

Put the stew Ewok to boil in enough water to cover it; take of the scum that rises when it reaches the boiling point, then simmer, adding hot water from time to time until the meat is tender. Remove the lid from the pot, salt the meat, let it boil until almost dry, occasionally turning over the meat in the liquid. Take the pot from the heat and let it chill overnight to get thoroughly cold. Pick any gristle or stringy bits from the meat, chop it very fine. Put the mixture in a pan with the raisins, currants, candied citron, apples, spices, lemon juice and peel, salt, pepper, and the sugar.

Put the juice–apple, currant, or grape–molasses or maple syrup, sweet-pickle syrup (if desired) and butter in an enameled saucepan. Let this mixture come to a boil, then pour it over the meat and fruits, mixing thoroughly.

Pack the mince-Ewok meat in jars and put them in a cool place; when cold, pour over the top a layer of molasses 1/8 inch thick and cover tightly. This will keep two months.

To bake in your favorite crust, take some out of a jar; if not moist enough, add a little hot water and strew a few whole raisins over each pie. Instead of boiled Ewok stew meat, a braised Ewok heart or leftover roast Ewok may be used.

Next week, we’ll be exploring the realm of seafood with some Gungan recipes! See you then!

16 thoughts on “Turning over a new spit: Cooking with Club Jade

  1. Aaron

    Sounds very yummie!
    Personally I prefer to cook Squibs though. More meat, fewer protests from EndorPeace, the Galaxy Wildlife Fund and the like.

  2. Skuldren

    “If Ewok is out of season” haha, that’s awesome. Tonight I’m going to try some Kung Pao Ewok. I love Chinese food. I’ve been fattening up an Ewok in my backyard for months now.

  3. Zandra

    Kalua ewok–Take one 6 lb ewok roast, rub with 1 tablespoon of Hawaiian red salt and 1 tablespoon of liquid smoke, then cook in crockpot for 20 hours on low heat.

  4. Kelly

    I think it’s important to note that Yav’s a vegetarian. Ewok, the meat even vegetarians love!

  5. Cy

    LOL This was great. More cookbooks need to contain important clarifications like “mace (not the Jedi Master or the weapon)” and “this part may be scary.”

  6. Stooge

    It’s easier to marinate the meat after the fact, and more importantly, it means more tequila for you.

    Words to live by.

  7. Sammygirl

    I for one will be having the Drunken Ewok Fajitas tonight. My kids love them!! Especially when I stick little Ewok spear skewers into the meat.

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