Posted on by Dunc

Uncomfortable plot summaries are sweeping the internet

Here’s a taste:

STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.

STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.

STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded.

Enjoy!

4 Replies to “Uncomfortable plot summaries are sweeping the internet”

  1. Wizard of Oz: Teenage girl blows into new town, kills first person she encounters. When victim’s sister vows revenge, girl kills her too.

  2. Attack of the Clones: Senator covers up troubled teen’s killing spree, starts war

  3. Thought I’d add a few more Star Wars ones:

    • Star Wars: The Phantom Menace: Paramilitary religious cult takes boy from single mother, skilled mechanic’s job.

    • Star Wars: Attack of the Clones: Bi-polar teen endangers commuters, seduces older woman, attacks geriatric, propagates civil war.

    • Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith: Assassination plot prevented; government enacts new reforms. Wife-beater promoted. (Alternate: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.)

    A second round, inspired by PostModern Barney: http://thedenofmystery.blogspot.com/2009/04/plot-summaries-take-2.html

  4. Return of the Jedi: Insurgents destroy military base, assassinate head of state; planet’s ecology destroyed by falling debris

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