With the premiere of season two of Rebels coming up (sure, it officially happened last week at New York Comic Con, but for most of us it’s next week) it’s time to get psyched for all the goodies we know are coming in season two: The return of some old faces, and the raising of the stakes of this little rebellion against the Empire. We know that Darth Vader, Captain Rex, and Hondo Ohnaka (#TeamHondo) will be showing up this season, and the premiere will focus on the return of the clone troopers, now a bit older. Here’s five things to look for in this two part episode (some spoilers ahead):
Hondo here, with a headache. I had a big party this weekend after winning the preliminary round over that Mando masked man, Pre Vizsla. At least that’s what my men told me happened. And they would never lie to me to have a party.
Back to business, err… This Is Madness. On the light side, there is Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ahsoka Tano. Hondo would like to remind you that I did once capture Obi-Wan, and he was pretty cool about it later, when he showed up at my base looking for that Darth Maul guy. But Hondo also once captured Ahsoka Tano as well, though she later talked her way out with some cute Jedi brats. So I have a bit of a soft spot in my pirate heart for her. Vote Ahsoka. Besides, Obi-Wan won last year.
On the dark side, it’s Boba Fett against Asajj Ventress. I don’t think I would want either of them showing up at my place. Boba Fett has lots of guns, but Asajj Ventress has a lightsaber and the dark side. In my experience, I can deal with guns. So vote Asajj, because I don’t want to make her mad.
Your favorite Weequay pirate, Hondo Ohnaka, is back and begsdemands that you immediately go vote for him in StarWars.com’s This Is Madness. And then share this message with all your crew members and friends. and even enemies. Hondo will reward you later.
Also, if anyone wants to slice into the This Is Madness server and just declare Hondo the winner, it would save a lot of time and effort.
Anyway, in the Light Side, there are two clones: Rex and Gregor. Rex is a friend of Ahsoka’s, and Ahsoka is a friend of Hondo’s. So Captain Rex it is. He might have to owe me one.
It’s your pal, Hondo, the only pirate to capture Jedi and Sith at the same time. The results of the first day of This Is Madness are up, and I am not pleased. Not pleased with any of you. I told you to vote for Hera Syndulla and the Inquisitor. And look who won – Leia and Grievous. Okay, Leia is fine with me. But that rusty robotic thorn in my side? Never!
Anyway, onto day two. On the light side, we have Yoda and Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon got himself killed by that horn-headed Maul, who also once trashed my base. So he can’t be all that great of a Jedi. Then again, Obi-Wan was his apprentice and I have some respect for that guy. Then again, I also captured him. Yoda, on the other hand, seems to be a pretty powerful fellow, winning the first year and all. I’ll go Yoda.
On the dark side, there is Jango Fett and Greedo. Greedo gets my sympathies since he speaks Huttese and all, but seriously, he’s not much of a bounty hunter. Jango can at least shoot first. Jango Fett.
Welcome to you! It’s your old pal, Hondo, and once again, the dashing folk at the official website have started up their This Is Madness bracket game again. And once again, Hondo Ohnaka, scourge of the space lanes, will reign supreme. Never mind that they show Yoda and Obi-Wan as past winners. It’s all lies, I tell you.
Watto has got some good tips on the competition. But don’t listen to that flying gasbag; let me tell you who to pick. Because if you do for Hondo, someday I might let you live instead of kicking you out of an airlock.
Anyway, the first match for the Light Side: Princess Leia vs Hera Syndulla. Both of them are those pesky Rebels you keep hearing about. But a princess and former senator? Ransoming her would bring more credits in. Then again, if I captured Hera, I’d probably also get her ship. And I could always use another good ship. Hera Syndulla.
On the Dark Side: General Grievous vs the Inquisitor. That four-armed cyborg once trashed my base. I’m still not over that. Pick the Inquisitor!
Once again, it’s your old pirating pal, Hondo Ohnaka!
Today’s the day! Now that I’ve woken up but not yet sobered up, I headed to the polls to vote for myself in This is Madness. My Kowakian Monkey Lizard apparently beat me to the polls, because that scamp Han Solo has a big lead at the moment. So I need everyone on deck to go vote for me, to show the galaxy that no one is more of a scoundrel than Hondo Ohnaka.
Sure, Solo is a handsome smuggler, but look at what I have – a whole base of handsome smugglers, pirates, and ne’er-do-wells. Plus I have this awesome coat, which I didn’t even pay for!
So go over to vote for Team Hondo, and spread the word on your social media things. Because if Hondo doesn’t win this year, I’ll sell all of you to the Geonosian glue factory.
PS. In the dark side match-up, it’s Emperor Palpatine versus Count Dooku. Since I was able to capture Dooku, he can’t be that tough, so vote Palpatine. Then again, Dooku escaped and sent his droid armies and horn-headed toughs to wreck my base once, so vote Dooku to keep him off our backs.
Lobbying for the ladies. Today’s This Is Madness matchups are Leia vs. Ackbar and Asajj vs. Grievous. Leia will take this matchup easily, but Asajj could use some extra help. Hondo would approve, I’m sure.
Ahoy! It’s your old pal Hondo Ohnaka, Scourge of the Spacelanes, here, and I’ve gotten word that once again I will be competing in the ‘This is Madness‘ tournament from StarWars.com. So here’s your captain to tell you who to pick since you’re all pressed into Team Hondo!
They seem to have expanded the number of spots available by adding these play-in things. At least they are smart enough to not make me join in one of those. In a four-way fight, I would win… or maybe hide… or run away until there is only one left, and then club that guy when his back is turned. But the point is, I’d win.
In Attack of the Play-Ins Matchup 1, we have Wedge Antilles, C-3PO, Mon Mothma and Jek Porkins. I hear this Wedge guy is a bit of a rogue, even if he wears a uniform. But smart money’s on the protocol droid. Why? He’s made of gold. Anyone with that much as you say bling has got to be a baller. Also, if I had to face him, I could knock him over easily. Pick C-3PO.
For Matchup 2, we have a bunch of Jedi. As Watto says, we don’t need them. They always cause me trouble. Last time they came to my base, they wrecked it up and didn’t even stick around to clean up the mess. Still, that Ahsoka Tano is probably the only one I’d trust, and for a pirate to trust a Jedi, that’s a rare thing. Vote Ahsoka.
In the next matchup, there’s some members of the Empire and Separatists. Like the Jedi, these guys cause my head to ache. Sep sent their battle droids to shoot up my stuff, so there’s no way I’m going to pick them. I’ll pick General Veers because picking a Navy admiral just seems like bad luck to a mostly illegal businessman like me.
What are we up to, now? Matchup four. Bounty hunters. While sometimes I work with bounty hunters, other times, they are looking for me or my men. I do background checks when I hire crew. Wait, no I don’t. Anyway, between Bossk, Greedo, IG-88 and Dengar, Bossk is the most lethal, and I don’t want to be on his bad side. Pick Bossk and live, I say!
Looking down at the full brackets, I see that I’m paired against Han Solo in the first round in the scoundrels division, on the light side of the board. I’ll have to make sure I move back to the dark side of the chart next year, but this year, you’d better vote Team Hondo, or else I’ll let my Kowakian monkey lizard tattoo you. Remember, now this is MADNESS!
On Monday morning, Team Hondo took to the streets of Oceanside and Carlsbad, along the north coast of San Diego County, for their segments of the Course of the Force lightsaber relay. Raising nearly $2,200 for Make-A-Wish over the past few weeks, putting us in the top three of all Course of the Force fundraising teams, Team Hondo was ready to run our segments in the lightsaber relay that had started in the Bay Area and was headed to Comic-Con in downtown San Diego. Here is our epic saga! Continue reading “Course of the Force 2013: Team Hondo races to riches for Make-A-Wish!”