The real reason Alderaan was destroyed…

They have no weapons, but they do have something far, far worse: Spam.

REQUEST FOR URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL ASSISTANCE

Dear General Kenobi

First, I must Solicit your Strictest Confidence in This Transaction. This is by Virtue of Its Nature as being Utterly Confidential And ‘TOP SECRET’. I am sure and have Confidence of your Ability and Reliability to Prosecute A Transaction of this Great Magnitude Involving a Pending Transaction Requiring Maximum Confidence.

I am Miss Leia Organa the Only Daughter of His Serene Highness, Prince Bail Prestor Organa, First Chairman and Viceroy of Alderaan, former Imperial Senator and Hero in the Clone Wars.

Read the whole thing at Riba Rambles.