
It’s looking like another slow news day around these parts, so let’s chat. Ask me anything. (Even if it’s not Star Wars! Why the hell not!) Share something cool. Discuss. Whatever! Let’s chill.
Star Wars with occasional sarcasm

It’s looking like another slow news day around these parts, so let’s chat. Ask me anything. (Even if it’s not Star Wars! Why the hell not!) Share something cool. Discuss. Whatever! Let’s chill.
So it came, the time of year when we look back upon our stats for last year… This is my first time doing this publicly, and if you don’t run a fan site they might be terribly boring, but what the hell, right? Continue reading “The Club Jade 2010 traffic report”
Really, io9? Really? Is there so little actual news in the entire world of science fiction and fantasy today that you had to dig up some news from December and try to spin it to be about the live-action series? Really? Here’s a hint: It isn’t.
On the other hand, thanks for the laugh. I needed that.
The press release has been issued, and Star Wars has claimed the top spots for licensed and boy toys.
Wherever the deathly obvious needs exploring, MTV is there! Let’s quote:
“No, no, no. Han Solo was very good to me at a certain point in my career,” explained the legendary star, who will be seen in the drama “Extraordinary Measures” on January 22nd. “But I’m done. I’m done with him.”
Surprise! Except, y’know, not.

Their heroic captain is called Luke Skywalker and he is joined by their man-shaped pet Chewbacca, a 2ft robot, and Princess Leah; since she’s the only girl, Luke would quite like to get it on with her. I hope it’s not his sister.
He does watch it afterward, though, and realizes how wrong he was.
Has Star Wars become too ridiculous to satirize, or are Adam Sandler movies just crap? Pretty sure I know where I stand. On the plus side, Hardware Wars!
(At the risk of sounding like a South Park episode, second-rate The Simpsons mocked this exact issue with slightly more finesse a few years back. And bonus, it’s shorter.)

You can see a brief clip at Gawker, and the full episode at Hulu.
I’m pretty sure it’s a hell of a lot easier than that – when I was called a few years back, they dismissed a guy in his early 20’s for basically wearing his nametag upside down. Or maybe it was the Young Jedi Knights book he was reading. Whatever – I ended up having to put in six days on that jury. Sigh.

“Han Solo is not a loser. Han Solo got encased in carbonite and that was a big mess, but that’s not what he’s remembered for. He’s remembered as the guy who made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, and who braved the sub-zero temperatures of the ice planet Hoth in order to save someone he cared about from the big ugly wampa. He’s remembered as the guy who swooped down at the last minute, blasted Darth Vader out of the sky, so that Luke could use the Force and, and destroy the damn Death Star. Okay? Princess Leia saved him from the carbonite, and they fell in love, and they saved the universe, and had twin Jedi babies that went on to save the universe again.”
UPDATE: That’s the real quote. Grey’s Anatomy screenwriters, we salute you. (And big thanks to Horsey as well!)
The finale (‘Freedom’) reruns Friday night on ABC, or you can watch it online. The scene starts at 27:25 in the first part of the two-parter.
UPDATE 2: You want video? io9 has video.