Movie news: Yes, this post contains Sweet Valley High

It could be worse. It could be My Little Pony.Just deal with it, boys. I thought April Fools had come early when I heard that Diablo Cody is adapting the Sweet Valley High series for the big screen. (It is indeed for real. There goes one of my jokes for next year.) Of course, the reaction has been mixed. And we can take solace in the fact that Cody is keeping the series in its proper time period – the 80’s. In any case, it’s only Sweet Valley High, and they’ve never exactly been classic anything.

  • Mark Hamill is not in Zombieland. Because really, once one has spoofed their most famous role in the form of a character called the Cocknocker, everything else in that vein is just kind of downhill.
  • Stephanie Meyer’s other property. Her science fiction novel, The Host, will be adapted by Gattaca’s Andrew Niccol.
  • Remakes rearing their ugly heads. Highlander and He-Man not as dead as we thought. DAMN IT. But at least we can be grateful for one thing:
  • My eyes! My eyes! io9 unearthed some a test shot of Nicolas Cage from the late 90’s Superman movie that never got made, and it’s every bit as awful as you might expect.

Next on the reboot train: Highlander

One can’t make enough “There can be only one!” jokes about the franchise that no one can ever be bothered to leave for dead. (Five movies, two TV shows, and I’m probably missing something.) But no, yesterday Summit Entertainment announced they’re planning to bring new life to Highlander, and have a couple of Iron Man writers aboard to prove it.

Original producer Peter Davis is returning, but no word on how many hilariously inappropriately-accented actors they plan to cast.

ETA: Flash Gordon, too? There are clearly too many Queen fans in this business.