Santa Maul has returned – briefly – to remind you that the Her Universe Cyber Monday merchandise is now available for purchase, even though none of it features his handsome visage.
Santa Maul has emerged triumphant from the gastronomic bloodbath, and he has spent the night cackling wildly about the encroachment of retail upon the day of platitudes, football, and flightless bird gorging. Not that he has gone out himself, of course: There is much to do at the Darth Pole, and he has been out of commission
writing dirty fanfic taunting Star Wars fandom with poorly-thought out rumors and fancastings.
(Santa Maul can neither confirm nor deny that he or any other member of the Maul family has been approached to direct, write or star in any forthcoming sequels.)
Santa Maul knows there are many deals which you will be wanting to know of, but he must pace himself.
If you have any friends who somehow do not own the Star Wars movies, Amazon has marked the Blu-rays down considerably – perhaps knowing that ‘The Complete Saga’ 6-pack will soon be a lie and/or in hopes that foolish collectors will think they need to purchase extras. In any case, it will now only cost you $69.99, while the individual Original Trilogy and Prequel Trilogy are $29.99 each.
Entertainment Earth is apparently so desperate to to get rid of Luke Skywalker’s dorky yellow jacket that they have marked it down from $274.99 to $75.00. It even comes with a medal to make your lightsider friends feel better about their pathetic life choices.
And of course you already know about Her Universe’s new products for Cyber Monday.
Since it is the appropriate season for an action sequence, Santa Maul heartily endorses this video.
Santa Maul is not a connoisseur of the comic periodical: As a man of taste, he prefers the ‘graphic novel,’ when he deigns to read things with pictures at all. For those who are not so sophisticated, he is inclined to report that Dark Horse will be having a Black Friday sale consisting of every digital Star Wars comic for the paltry sum of $100.
Santa Maul, as you well know, does not think much of the pan-fried moron you plebeians find so fascinating, one Darth Vader. Yet despite many upstanding, non-whiny Sith, he is the poster boy, so put up with him even Santa Maul must.
Thus, Santa Maul recommends to you this Limited Edition Designer Star Wars Movie Poster. It presents Vader’s plastic visage in the most minimalist way possible. While a bit too faux-retro for Santa Maul’s tastes, it is still a step above the usual overproduced horrors that pass as Star Wars posters. Now, if only a companion piece could be made featuring a more handsome, graphical, and actually sexy Sith.
Speaking of things that are fried and wrapped in plastic, Santa Maul finds himself delighted with the existance of Bacon Candy Canes. He plans to purchase some and leave them in Vader’s stocking.