Darth Vader despoils Disney holiday parade, not in the good way

It has come to Santa Maul’s attention that Darth Vader, that pan-fried brute, is now being used in place of Santa Claus at Disney World. Santa Maul supposes this is to be expected, as nothing says plebeian like Disney, but he finds the use of a wishy-washy Sith like Vader to be an afront to the very nature of Sithmas. And there probably wasn’t even any violence to liven things up!

Santa Maul has reported the incident to his master, Darth Sinterklaas. He expects vengeance will be swift.

Santa Maul has awoken to advise you on bloodshed, gift-buying and other forms of holiday violence

Santa Maul hopes your enemies were sluggish and your feasting was plentiful this Thanksgiving. Santa Maul himself is, of course, gearing up for his (contractually-obligated) favorite day of the year, Black Friday.

Santa Maul's Holiday Gift Guide“But Santa Maul,” you say. “The shopping has started earlier this year, on Thanksgiving itself!” To that, Santa Maul says poppycock. Thanksgiving is a day for feasting and destroying your enemies: Shopping is for every day after that, until the final facedowns of the season and the blood offerings at Sithmas itself. On this, Santa Maul remains firm.

That said, if you wish to begin your shopping now, well, upon your own neck be it. Consumerism waits for no Sith.

Star Wars is, as always, at the forefront of the trend, with StarWars.com posting their own roundup of deals yesterday. Dunc already revealed the new offerings from Her Universe. And if you are not quite sure what your ‘fangirl’ should want, they now offer gift cards.

ThinkGeek is as ever a staple for geek-themed gifts. This year, Santa Maul is much taken with the Star Wars tie clips, cuff links money clips, lightsaber earrings and business card holder, though of course he can not help but be a little tickled by the R2-D2 car charger and Darth Vader stress toy.

Santa Maul would not be so neglectful as to forget the year’s books. Though you may have procured it for yourself, do not forget The Making of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Art: Concept and the many other oversized offerings that magically appear during the fall.

For one wishing for to bring a custom level to their lair, Santa Maul is much taken with these Death Star-inspired wall tiles from Tom Spina Design.