Sorry, the RPF is in another castle

There is no Christian Bale fan fiction here. We like him and all, but not that much. might come up in Google for it (okay, I can’t find it, but I guess someone did) but all our fanfic is old and about the fictional people of Star Wars.

Answerer 3: It’s called Real Person Fiction, and it does indeed exist. There have been some actual fandoms devoted to the stuff. Sorry.

But since you clicked, have a consolation prize.

Well, I’m bored. Let’s mock the search referrals!

The news is almost always slow during the holidays; even fandom slows down, as schools and workplaces take breaks and people just find things to do offline. Alas! What’s a bored blogger to do?

Star wars themed strip clubsIn this case, I went to the referrer logs. The sad fact is, all bloggers are obsessed with referral logs: They tell us how many people are looking, what they’re looking at, and how they got here. It’s that last part that’s most fascinating: Sites linking to us, what search results brought them here. In the last week, 20% have come here directly (bookmarks and the like,) 30% from links and a whooping 50% from search engines. Now, I realize this is all pretty boring stuff, but you have to understand: There’s some seriously funny stuff in that 50%. Sure, not in the terms with the biggest numbers (‘robot chicken star wars 2’, ‘club jade’, and ‘fate of the jedi,’ in case you were wondering) but in the little ones. Witness, the most hilarious search engine referrals of November:

  • 80 people searched for fandom trash (thanks, tagline!)
  • 69 people searched for doctor porn. (With an additional 75 specifically looking for doctor who porn. Costume porn also does pretty well with 22 hits. In short, porn porn porn.

The real fun starts when you get into the smaller numbers: That’s where all the most truly bizarre searches are. Get the crème de la crap under the cut. Continue reading “Well, I’m bored. Let’s mock the search referrals!”