Santa Maul recommends wall decor, candy canes

Santa Maul, as you well know, does not think much of the pan-fried moron you plebeians find so fascinating, one Darth Vader. Yet despite many upstanding, non-whiny Sith, he is the poster boy, so put up with him even Santa Maul must.

Thus, Santa Maul recommends to you this Limited Edition Designer Star Wars Movie Poster. It presents Vader’s plastic visage in the most minimalist way possible. While a bit too faux-retro for Santa Maul’s tastes, it is still a step above the usual overproduced horrors that pass as Star Wars posters. Now, if only a companion piece could be made featuring a more handsome, graphical, and actually sexy Sith.

Speaking of things that are fried and wrapped in plastic, Santa Maul finds himself delighted with the existance of Bacon Candy Canes. He plans to purchase some and leave them in Vader’s stocking.

Santa Maul has woken, and he has a ‘gift’ for you

Santa Maul's Holiday Gift Guide‘Ah, Santa Maul, it is too early for you,’ perhaps you are saying. But you are wrong. Has retail taught you nothing? It is never too early for the trappings of Sithmas to intrude into everyday life. (Four days before Halloween! I am indeed mighty.) Santa Maul depends on your hatred and rage at the season’s shameless insidiousness, after all. It is what wakes him, long before his intended time. Well, that and the candy.

In any case, Santa Maul knows his lady readers, and the ladies (and many of the mens) love that silly twit Obi-Wan, even at his most mulleted. So he brings you this Sideshow production peek, to taunt you a product that will probably not be ready for Christmas! For such is his whim. Welcome to the Sithmas season, minions!