To the tune of "Love Potion Number Nine" by The Clovers
Filked by Grand Admiral Sean

Well I took little journey to meet Doctor Xux,
You know, that Omwat with Etherial looks;
She's got a lab above the famous Kessel mine,
Drawin' up the plans for...
Superweapon Number Nine!

I told her that my troops were dumb as bricks,
They've been that way since Star Wars chapter six,
She didn't look my way until she'd typed another line,
Then said "What you need is...
Superweapon Number Nine!"

She punched in, walked out and left me to think,
Then came back in and grabbed my hand and threw me a wink,
She led me down the hall 'till I saw something in pink,
I froze in place, and dropped my jaw; could only blink.

Soon I was out and flexing my new might,
I started smashing everything in sight,
But then I met a farmboy and he didn't even whine,
He went and blew away my...
Superweapon Number Nine!

(Musical Interlude)

I froze in place, and dropped my jaw; could only blink.

Soon I was out and flexing my new might,
I started smashing everything in sight,
But then I met a farmboy and he didn't even whine,
He went and blew away my...
Superweapon Number Nine!