To the tune of "If I were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof
Filked by Slyvermont

If I were a Jedi
Daidle deedle daidle deedle daidle dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I only had the Force

I wouldn't have to work hard
Daidle deedle daidle deedle daidle dum
If I had the biddy biddy bum
Deedle daidle deedle daidle Force

I'd build a lightsaber encrusted with jewels
Set in a body of pure gold
And use it to slay writer Kevin Anderson
There would be one glowing blade of peacock blue
Another blade of brilliant green
And I would wield them both with lots of passion

If I were a Jedi
Daidle deedle daidle deedle daidle dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I only had the Force

I wouldn't have to work hard
Daidle deedle daidle deedle daidle dum
If I had the biddy biddy bum
Deedle daidle deedle daidle Force

I'd fill my yard with rocks and pebbles and boulders
And life not even a single one
Reserving the Force for more important things
Like slipping into Skywalker Ranch in Marin
Flying the Millenium Falcon
And cruising the galaxy in my X-wing

The most important Darksiders will come to fawn on me
The will as me to advise them
Like old Obi-Wan the wise
"If you please Jedi Bitch, pardon me, Jedi Bitch,"
Posing problems that would cross even Yoda's eyes

And it wont' make one bit of difference
If I answer right or wrong
When you're a Jedi, they think you really know

If I were a Jedi
Daidle deedle daidle deedle daidle dum
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum
If I only had the Force

I wouldn't have to work hard
Daidle deedle daidle deedle daidle dum
Uncle George who made this universe
With Ewoks how could it get worse
How could you be at all averse
If I only had the Force?