To the tune of "Cornflake Girl" by Tori Amos
Filked for the Dead Daalas

Never was burger man
thought it was a good solution
hangin' with the writer science nerds
she's gone to the other side
given my career a yo-heave ho
things are getting kinda werid
and I go convention time
this is not really happing
you bet your life it is

Peel out the bestsellers
just peel out the bestsellers

Think I know what's going on
seems we got a cheaper feel now
all the royalty checks are gone
to the other side with my tape recorder
they musta paid her a nice price
she's putting on the paper hat
this is not really happening
you bet your life it is

Betsy were'd you put my tapes girl
and the man with no super stars
they think he writes so good
they think he writes so good
Betsy where'd you put my tapes girl.