To the tune of "You Don't Mess Around with Jim" by Jim Croce
Filked by Bogan

The Hutts they got their rancors
Trade Federation got killer 'bots
But when the Sith Lord calls up steps Darth Maul
Full of spite and wicked thoughts
Yeah, he's as fast and mean as any we've seen
For kickin' heads he takes the prize
Do yourself a favor, don't compare lightsabers
'Cause Maul just goes by size
(Uh-huh)
But we know

You don't root for evil to win
You don't call the Dark Side your friend
You don't stand behind Darth Sidious' kind
And you don't kill Qui-Gon Jinn

To the planet Naboo come some Jedi who'll
Bust the blockade and have some fun
They save Queen Amidala
But the victory's hollow
'Cause they really don't get much done
These two Jedi men, the first is Qui-gon Jinn
Makes the Council pull out it's hair
Then there's Obi the squire
The one the girls admire
he's so pretty that it's just not fair
And all the Jedi
Will tell you straight

You don't root for evil to win
You don't call the Dark Side your friend
You don't chase the Queen 'round Tatooine
And you don't kill Qui-Gon Jinn

Well, the Jedi are raidin' the palace
But Darth Maul comes in through the door
'Cause of a plot device
Qui-gon takes a slice
It leaves him dyin' there on the floor
Then the Sith's too much for the padawan
Obi's hangin' about to take a fall
But with a Jedi trick
And a lightsaber flick
Obi turns him into half a Maul
(Uh-huh)
Then he says

You don't root for evil to win
You don't call the Dark Side your friend
You don't plot disasters for the Jedi Masters
And you don't kill Qui-Gon Jinn