Hondo Ohnaka here! I have cleverly hacked this blog to let you know that I will be the rightful winner of StarWars.com’s character bracket voting nonsense, ‘This Is Madness’. There are many people who think that others like that Han Solo or Darth Vader fellow will win this vote, but really – who is more liked by anyone in the galaxy? Me. Because everybody I’ve met tells me that they like me most. Sometimes I may be holding them for ransom, but I think they prefer to be my hostages than anyone else’s guests anyday.
And now you can join Team Hondo. And you don’t even need to give me money. Just follow my votes everyday in ‘This Is Madness’ and you can share in my victory. If you don’t know what any of this nonsense is, no problem – just follow what I tell you to do. It works for my men, and they mostly end up being rewarded. Well, the ones who survive. Go to StarWars.com/ThisIsMadness and vote the way Uncle Hondo wants you to.
Today, your choices are:
Light Side: Han Solo versus Lando Calrissian. Now Solo is a good smuggler with his shoot-first style. But how good is he without his Wookie pet at his side? Lando has much more, as-you-say, swagger. And he does know how to dress. And looking good is half the battle. Choose Lando. If he wins, he may owe me a favor. Or at least a bottle of Necr’ygor Omic wine.
Dark Side: Darth Vader versus General Grievous. Hmmm.. A cyborg asthmatic against a coughing cyborg. And both wear capes even. But I think Grievous is the one you should pick, even though he sent his droid troops and shot up my base. He does have a slightly better taste in capes. As for Vader: Don’t trust a man if you can’t see his eyes. Of course, you can see MY eyes, you just have to get close.
Picks for Tuesday 3/19:
Light Side: Obi-Wan Kenobi versus Qui-Gon Jinn. How good can Obi-Wan be if I could capture him time and again? So choose Qui-Gon, I hear he’s more… flexible than those other rule-bound Jedi. Obi-Wan is okay for a Jedi, but today I like Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon Jinn. reminds me. my gin.. is gone.
Dark Side: Darth Maul versus Asajj Ventress. This is one of those things I should not tell you who to pick, simply because the other one would probably come try to kill me. That is bad for business. But Darth Maul did trash my base and try to get my men to betray me, and I don’t consider that a good sign. So Asajj Ventress gets my choice.
Is there any strategy to this? Of course there is! But just because you are on Team Hondo doesn’t mean I’ll tell you everything. Don’t even think of trying to stab me in the back, because you cannot stab a man in the back if he is shooting you first, in the front.
The recent recap of last year’s biggest events reminded me of something that has been largely overlooked: George Lucas is retiring. Granted, he’s tried to retire before – a couple of times, if memory serves – with limited success. And the news was understandably overshadowed by the double-whammy of the Sequel Trilogy and the sale to Disney. But still. The Flannelled One is stepping down, off to work on experimental films or build a working X-wing or become a lumberjack or whatever retired billionaires do. Yes, there were the starwars.com videos, where he talked a bit about his future plans, but in general, this story has been ignored. Heck, I saw more chatter about Rick McCallum’s retirement. Rick McCallum is a wonderful guy, but there’s only one George Lucas. He deserves a little more attention.
So when Dark Horse first announced that Brian Wood would be starting a new ongoing series, simply titled Star Wars, back at Comic Con last July, and mentioned that Leia would be piloting an X-wing fighter, the two big fusses that popped up were about fitting continuity (isn’t it always?) and Leia in a role we hadn’t seen her in very often: fighter pilot. (Never mind that she’s been piloting starfighters since Splinter of the Mind’s Eye.)
Now that the first issue of the series is out for us all to enjoy, what’s all the hubbub?
I’m not going to be the first person to say this, and I certainly won’t be the last: Don’t expect the sequel trilogy to follow the existing Expanded Universe. We know that George Lucas has done story treatments for these films that he’s handing over to Kathleen Kennedy and Disney’s LFL, and Lucas’s take on the EU has been, for most of its existence, that they’re an alternate universe. He has been a distant and uncaring god, at least as far as post-Return of the Jedi is concerned. He has used things from the EU occasionally, but I wouldn’t expect straight adaptations of any of the existing books or comics – at least not as actual episodes.
Sit back, kids, and listen to an Old Fart Star Wars fan talk about life in the good ol’ days of 1977 and 1978.
I was nine when Star Wars was first released. It’s hard to describe the phenomenon of how quickly it became a part of everything in that first year. This was before the internet. So the fact that it immediately integrated itself into our culture is a wild situation that I’m not sure will ever be repeated. By the middle of the summer of 1977, my friends and I were playing Star Wars without actually having seen the movie. (Without any toys. Can you imagine?)
So here we are, in the post-Legacy of the Force Expanded Universe. And, as we learned at Celebration, one of the first things out of the gate will be a trilogy focused on Jaina Solo. Fans of the only remaining Solo kid greeted the news with boundless enthusiasm – and just a hint of trepidation. My feelings are less clear. On the one hand, I think it’s long past due. On the other hand… No one has really managed to make me actually care about Jaina yet, and I think it’s probably long past time.
Every Star Wars character has an iconic outfit or two. (Or twenty. Hey, Padme.) Obi-Wan has his Jedi robes, Han Solo has his bloodstripe pants and vest, Boba Fett has his armor. Hell, even Chewbacca has his bandolier.
When it comes to Expanded Universe characters – at least those that derive from books, as opposed to more visual mediums like games or comics – things get a little trickier. Authors generally don’t go for detailed descriptions of clothing, so it’s usually pretty up in the air… At least until someone gets on a book cover, or makes an appearance in a comic book. Which is how Mara Jade got the black leather catsuit that has become – like it or not – her trademark.
Clearly we’ve forgotten that Star Wars is aimed at boys! And that by asking for something as minor as a female characters whose functions include something other than being Big Bad Lady Cthulu or Confused Teenage Girlfriend makes us the sexist ones! For shame, ladies. For shame. Because we’ve never heard anything like this before.