Club Jade

Wait wait… Does this new Three Musketeers actually have a touch of steampunk? With a ninja Milla Jovovich? And Orlando Bloom looking ridiculous? And for the love of whoever, will someone get poor Percy Jackson a better wig?

A survey by the Birmingham Science City finds that “over a fifth of adults” surveyed believe lightsabers are real. Nearly a quarter believe that humans can be teleported, 50% believe that memory-erasing technology (ala Men in Black) exist, and more than 40% believe in hoverboards. Remember them from Back to the Future Part II? Granted, we can probably blame Robert Zemeckis himself for that one. Science fiction, what have you wrought?

The actor told the Toronto Sun about a recent encounter he had with the director… About the end of the world.

“George Lucas sits down and seriously proceeds to talk for around 25 minutes about how he thinks the world is gonna end in the year 2012, like, for real. He thinks it.

“He’s going on about the tectonic plates and all the time Spielberg is, like, rolling his eyes, like, ’My nerdy friend won’t shut up, I’m sorry…’

“I first thought he (Lucas) was joking… and then I totally realized he was serious and then I started thinking, ’If you’re George Lucas and you actually think the world is gonna end in a year, there’s no way you haven’t built a spaceship for yourself… So I asked him… ’Can I have a seat on it?’

Oh, George.

Counterpoint: Here’s what Katie Lucas has to say about it:

I have no idea if the conversation actually happened. But he would TOTALLY say that. As a joke, obviously. Geez people, its funny. Get over it!

UPDATE: Word from LFL themselves! Beware of snark.

“I spoke with George,” said Lucasfilm rep Lynne Hale in an e-mail to Wired.com about this issue of obvious intergalactic importance.

“He was not serious when he talked about the end of the world in 2012 but he is an adamant believer that the world is flat, that Stonehenge was built by aliens, and that the sun revolves around the Earth,” Hale said. “These are among the many subjects he commonly discusses at length with Elvis, who he’s going to digitally insert into Indy 5 along with a roster of famous dead actors.”

So dare I say this means that George trolled Seth Rogan? So many LULZ.

UPDATE #2: Further your LOL with the snark-deficient.

The product we love to mock – the George-selected fancy screenshot set Star Wars: Frames – is finally going into production. Wired has video.

And for only $3,000! (The set was earlier reported to be priced at $5,000-$4,000.) Granted, the book does look interesting, but at that price! Ouch.

I came here to lambast Tyra Banks’s YA book deal, but this thing is just so bizarre I’m going to have to let Tyra herself do the honors:

The story happens in a make-believe place called Modelland – every girl in the world wants to go there because it’s where “Intoxibellas” are trained. Intoxibellas are drop-dead beautiful, kick-butt fierce and, yeah, maybe they have some powers too. (But I’m confirming NOTHING! Ha. You gotta wait for the book.) The story follows a teen girl and her friends who find themselves magically transported to Modelland, even though they’re really not supposed to be there. (Okay, now, that’s ALL I’m saying!)

…How can any mere mortal top that? To their credit, a Gawker reader has tried to capture the proper tone:

Mr. and Mrs. Catalog, of number four, Unfashionable Drive, were proud to say that they bought everything at Target, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything fashionable or stylish, because they just didn’t hold with such fabulousness.

I’ve seen enough of America’s Next Top Model to figure that Tyra is either kind of nuts or happily playing such for TV, but this? Beats me. I’m just hoping for a rival school of drag queens.

Well, not quite literally. (Twilight we are not.) But there is a notable resemblance between the Form 2 and the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy. (Nothing overtly NSFW at the link, although some of the links there are.)

Looking for something more G-rated? The Brits are at it again with a Luke Skywalker bathrobe.

Quotables. Alice in Wonderland producer Richard D. Zanuck calls George Lucas “the Thomas Edison of our time.”

Weequay Thranta Fambaa. A girl on German game show can ID Lego action figures with her mouth. That’s a skill that’ll take her far. (via)

Under the stars. Take a peek at this Star Wars nursery.

Well, it is kind of true. Yoda is one of Cracked’s 6 famous movie wisemen who were totally full of shit.

This is terrifying. (You’re welcome.)

Leave it to Japan to make the Holiday Special look tasteful and restrained. (via)

Uhh… Vive la France? (via)