Greetings from the sun-drenched canyons of Florrum. It’s me, your good buddy Hondo. After waking up from this long weekend (all weekends for Hondo are long weekends, except when profit is on the line), I checked StarWars.com’s ‘This Is Madness’ and saw that Phase II of #TeamHondo is proceeding as planned: Artoo-Detoo has trumped his golden counterpart, and Boba Fett has beaten out Dengar in a blowout. And both of these victories still show me, Hondo Ohnaka, to be the top of the non-advancing characters, which means I win or am continuing to win, or am the victor.
But today’s pick, which you’d better get in quick (by midnight ET/9 PM PT), is going to be tough to call:
- Light Side: Princess Leia vs. Padme Amidala. In my years as a pirate, I’ve learned a few things about ladies in power – usually they pack blasters and don’t take kindly to being kidnapped. But sometimes they do take kindly to my hospitality when we do business. But my choice is irrelevant – I’m being blackmailed you see – someone has threatened to plunder my base if I don’t tell you to vote for Leia. Normally, I don’t fall for these schemes, but even sometimes I know when I am outgunned. But never am I outwitted.
- Dark Side: Jango Fett vs. Bossk. Who brings their kid on all their business trips? Especially when their business is killing people. I don’t like kids on most days, but even I know what responsible parenting looks like. Bringing your kid to places where you will likely get shot at or laser-sworded: it’s a good way to not come out ahead. Plus Bossk has dry leathery skin like me, and we share some moisturizer tips. Forget that I said that. Just vote Bossk.
And for tomorrow’s votes:
- Light Side: Chewbacca vs. Wicket. Attack of the furballs, I say. Still, Chewbacca helped my friend, Ahsoka Tano, out of a bad situation. Plus he can fly a ship and play dejarik. I still don’t know what’s he’s saying, but then again, I have no idea what Wicket is saying either, and he just runs around with a spear. Chewbacca gets the vote, since he’s got skills I could actually use.
- Dark Side: Count Dooku vs. Tarkin. I was fortunate enough to meet this Dooku and keep him as a special guest. Too bad the Jedi didn’t pay up exactly the way I wanted. And then Dooku sends Grievous to trash my base! If Dooku is such a serious threat, how is it that I can capture him AND two Jedi all in one week? Tarkin – he’s sneaky and ambitious. I like that. Plus he can’t use the Force on me. Tarkin! Wait – Dooku is more likely to be able to exact revenge on me if I endorse his opponent. I can’t afford to have my base shot up again by battle droids. Dooku!
Okay, Team Hondo, get out there and do your civic duty – by stealing these elections!
Hondo here. First off, I think that there may be some shady things going on with the ‘This Is Madness’ game at StarWars.com. Namely, that Cad Bane did better than me in a popularity contest. People want to hang out with me. People do not want to hang out with Cad Bane. I may not have gotten 72% of the dark side vote like Cad Bane, but I got 28%. And that’s a win for Hondo and for Team Hondo. We have, as those Browncoats say, done the impossible. Hondo has gotten more votes than any other second-place vote getter so far. Not even the great Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn got 28% against Obi-Wan Kenobi. And that’s how it is going to stay!
Team Hondo has a new mission: Make sure the lower seed in the rest of these first tier rounds does not beat Hondo’s record. So vote for the obviously more renowned character as the game goes into the lower quadrants on the board.
Phase II – Today’s picks for Team Hondo:
- Light Side: R2-D2 vs C-3PO. The Professor against everyone’s favorite character. And so really, pick everyone’s favorite character, R2-D2. As a pirate, while protocol droids come in handy when negotiating, an astromech is so much more versatile for breaking into things, smuggling things, and stealing loot. R2-D2.
- Dark Side: Boba Fett vs Dengar. Does Hondo even need to tell you who to vote for here? Actually, you don’t have to even vote. I’m that cocky.
Am I bummed that I didn’t decisively beat Cad Bane? No. Because I can still win the entire game. Because Hondo always ends up on top. Except when Jedi or Sith get in the way. Or when my men sell me out.
Big thanks to everyone who has been a part of #TeamHondo, especially to Justin at JediNews.co.uk (who also found a great Best of Hondo video), Tricia and Lex at Fangirl Blog (who gave us an update on the tookas), and Bryan at Big Shiny Robot! for letting me run amok on their sites. And all of our friends on Twitter, supporting #TeamHondo, and getting the word out online, Hondo raises his glass to you all. Team Hondo isn’t done yet, so stay tuned!
Hondo asked me to remind you to vote for him today in StarWars.com’s This is Madness character game. He’d come here himself to make some big announcement, but he’s been busy hitting the circuit of sites to campaign:
we’ve spotted him over at Fangirl blog and Big Shiny Robot, as well as getting more new imagery over at Jedi News UK.
So go over to StarWars.com’s This is Madness and vote for Hondo Ohnaka on the Dark Side of the brackets. Because while a happy Hondo is fun to be around, we don’t want a sad Hondo moping around the blog.
Your favorite pirate, Hondo Ohnaka, is back, slicing into this blog account, with more insightful tips on how to vote in StarWars.com’s ‘This Is Madness’ character bracket pool thingy. It’s like a regular pool, but without water. Or pool toys. Or pineapple-shaped drinks.
If you saw my picks for the first two days and did not vote, it’s your fault that Hondo’s choices didn’t advance. But you can make it up to me, and I now have allies with more firepower, as the friendly scoundrels over at JediNews have thrown their lot in with me. So help spread the word for #TeamHondo and most importantly vote for me. Or else I’ll think of a vicious fate for you, sometime later. When I’m not typing.
In the first day of voting, no one listened to old Hondo, and now Han Solo and Darth Vader have both advanced. This is an outrage. How am I supposed to beat both of them? But in the second day, the margins show that people are listening to me. Qui-Gon got a full quarter of the vote, and I think it’s due to everyone on Team Hondo and also a lot of Taken fans. Asajj did better against Maul than that cyborg general did against Vader, so again, a small victory for Hondo and his pirates. But we need a big victory. That’s better business!
So for today’s vote (get your vote in at starwars.com/thisismadness by midnight ET, or 9 PM PT, or before you pass out, if you’re like me):
- Light Side: Luke Skywalker and Wedge Antilles. Hondo respects a good pilot, since they will often get you out of a jam. And these are both good pilots. But Wedge, I think, is a better pilot since he does all that without the Force. I’m still not sold on Force users, though they often fetch a good bounty. So pick Wedge Antilles. I hear he’s Corellian and that’s a good thing in my book.
- Dark Side: Jabba the Hutt and Salacious Crumb. Jabba is a good businessman and I make it a point to try to take advantage of a good businessman every chance I get. Though he does have good taste in companions, like that Kowakian monkey-lizard of his, Salacious Crumb. I, too, have a monkey-lizard, though his name is way cooler: Pilf Mukmuk. And I make sure that my raucous friend is well tended to. Pick Salacious Crumb to irritate the Bloated One.
And on Thursday:
- Light Side: Yoda and Mace Windu. I do not know these temple Jedi well, with their rules and serious faces and such. So I don’t really care. Except I hear that Yoda has ears like a Kowakian monkey lizard and that amuses me that someone like my Pilf Mukmuk could levitate things in the Force.
- Dark Side: Hondo Ohnaka (that’s me!) and Cad Bane. What? Why am I on the Dark Side? Shouldn’t there be someone more like that Savage Opress or Mother Talzin on this side? I guess I’m too popular to keep out of the running. Though really I should be on the light side – I help those Jedi brats more often than not, it seems. And sometimes they even pay me. Ha! Anyway, this one is pretty obvious: Vote Hondo or else you’re not on Hondo’s team. Got it? Besides, who would you rather party with? A guy who would kill you for a hat, or a guy who actually likes a party. At least twice a day.
Again, the most important thing is to vote for Hondo on Thursday. Tell all your friends to vote for Hondo too. Better yet, pull a blaster on them and make them vote for me. On every computer you can find. Spread the word – #TeamHondo #ThisIsMadness on Twitter, because “This Is Madness!”
Hondo Ohnaka here! I have cleverly hacked this blog to let you know that I will be the rightful winner of StarWars.com’s character bracket voting nonsense, ‘This Is Madness’. There are many people who think that others like that Han Solo or Darth Vader fellow will win this vote, but really – who is more liked by anyone in the galaxy? Me. Because everybody I’ve met tells me that they like me most. Sometimes I may be holding them for ransom, but I think they prefer to be my hostages than anyone else’s guests anyday.
And now you can join Team Hondo. And you don’t even need to give me money. Just follow my votes everyday in ‘This Is Madness’ and you can share in my victory. If you don’t know what any of this nonsense is, no problem – just follow what I tell you to do. It works for my men, and they mostly end up being rewarded. Well, the ones who survive. Go to StarWars.com/ThisIsMadness and vote the way Uncle Hondo wants you to.
Today, your choices are:
- Light Side: Han Solo versus Lando Calrissian. Now Solo is a good smuggler with his shoot-first style. But how good is he without his Wookie pet at his side? Lando has much more, as-you-say, swagger. And he does know how to dress. And looking good is half the battle. Choose Lando. If he wins, he may owe me a favor. Or at least a bottle of Necr’ygor Omic wine.
- Dark Side: Darth Vader versus General Grievous. Hmmm.. A cyborg asthmatic against a coughing cyborg. And both wear capes even. But I think Grievous is the one you should pick, even though he sent his droid troops and shot up my base. He does have a slightly better taste in capes. As for Vader: Don’t trust a man if you can’t see his eyes. Of course, you can see MY eyes, you just have to get close.
Picks for Tuesday 3/19:
- Light Side: Obi-Wan Kenobi versus Qui-Gon Jinn. How good can Obi-Wan be if I could capture him time and again? So choose Qui-Gon, I hear he’s more… flexible than those other rule-bound Jedi. Obi-Wan is okay for a Jedi, but today I like Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon Jinn. reminds me. my gin.. is gone.
- Dark Side: Darth Maul versus Asajj Ventress. This is one of those things I should not tell you who to pick, simply because the other one would probably come try to kill me. That is bad for business. But Darth Maul did trash my base and try to get my men to betray me, and I don’t consider that a good sign. So Asajj Ventress gets my choice.
Is there any strategy to this? Of course there is! But just because you are on Team Hondo doesn’t mean I’ll tell you everything. Don’t even think of trying to stab me in the back, because you cannot stab a man in the back if he is shooting you first, in the front.