Club Jade

While I admit that making a comedy out of Dark Shadows is a completely natural progression from the (naturally) campy source material, this… I don’t know. But it did make me laugh, so at least it has that going for it.

Go boldly to the newstand: Star Trek is the cover story for the new Entertainment Weekly. The cover promises new photos and a set visit, but if you’re dying to see something, there are already a few images out and about the web. In any case, it shouldn’t be a long wait: We’ll see the story and images up at ew.com soon enough.

Bond joins the party: In other news, the first full trailer for Trek is set to be attached to Quantum of Solace.

• Adaptions: Ridley Scott is planning a return to sci-fi with Joe Haldeman’s The Forever War; io9 found some comments from Haldeman and suggestions for filming (or not) his back catalog.

• Pirates payday just a rumor? Writer Terry Rossio says that Johnny Depp isn’t getting $50+ million for a fourth POTC film. Cinema Blend has doubts. Whatever, man.
• Don Cheadle in for Iron Man 2: Cheadle will replace Terrence Howard as sidekick (and eventual War Machine) Jim Rhodes.
• For adults! Like me! The Jim Henson Co. has picked up a “comedic film noir murder mystery” script called The Happytime Murders. It sounds a little like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but I’m a total sucker for muppets so I’ll probably end up seeing it anyway.

Never met a dead horse he couldn’t beat: Harrison Ford tells the Los Angeles Times that George Lucas is considering a fifth Indiana Jones film. Of course he is.

But for those who might wonder about those fleeting non-franchise projects, Red Tails does now have a director, Anthony Hemingway.

• That parrot is definitely deceased: Johnny Depp is reportedly getting $56 million for a fourth Pirates Of The Caribbean film. Fifty. Six. (Or is it four?) Million.

• The no-brainer: Christopher Nolan to make third Batman film, start production in February. Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Gary Oldman will return. Nothing sarcastic here, move along.
• Okay, so it’s a prequel. Or something: Guillermo del Toro is directing The Hobbit, if you haven’t heard. But he also wants to do a Frankenstein movie. Hopefully he doesn’t pick up any of Peter Jackson’s King Kong mojo while he’s down in New Zealand.

ILM effects guru is #10 on Entertainment Weekly’s list of the 50 smartest people in Hollywood. Also making the list are Steven Spielberg (#2,) Johnny Depp (#21,) J.J. Abrams (#29) and Cate Blanchett (#45.) (via)

The trailer for Tim Burton’s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, starring Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Based on the musical of the same name, it features Johnny Depp singing. Singing!

I did not regret not going to Comic-Con until I heard this: They showed a Futurama trailer. Why is it not online? This is so unfair.

You changed the outcome by measuring it!

• The New York Times deigns to recognize SDCC.

• Kevin Smith will direct a Heroes: Origins episode.

• TOSblog reports on Blade Runner.
• Hey Buffy fans, remember Ripper? It may live after all.
• Disney is going to take on all of Narnia – starting with Prince Caspian they plan to release one a year. Um, good luck with that.

• Tim Burton and Johnny Depp are making a Sweeney Todd movie? Why did I not know this?
• Seth Rogan talks about Green Hornet

• Official Watchmen website launches
• There was some smuggled Iron Man footage, but Youtube copyright violationed ated it right before I posted. Take some transcript instead.

Trailers and such

• Captain Obvious narrates the extended preview of The Golden Compass. (Be sure to choose the second option, under the video.) It seems that the Children of Dune soundtrack is in vogue again…

• The Dark Knight photo plus teaser. Emphasis on the tease.