Club Jade

The Fanboys reviews are coming in, and they are… Not very good. Roger Ebert is particularly biting… io9 gives it more credit, but it didn’t particularly make me want to see it, either. And The Village Voice’s Robert Wilonsky says we’d “better off watching The Star Wars Holiday Special” – hyperbole, clearly. But the most damning thing from him, at least from my perspective:

The jokes, such as they are, consist of little more than Star Wars lines recited out of context—most of them variations on “These are not the droids you’re looking for.” It feels like the filmmakers’ way of saying, “This is a movie for members only.”

I am a member of the club, and I got tired of that kind of thing years ago. (Pay no attention to the entry headline…) Of course, it’s one thing to read a review, and another to actually see the movie. But unless ticket sales this weekend go gangbusters, I don’t think most of us are going to have that chance until the DVD.

If you’re searching for a more positive take, StarWars.com has a report from San Francisco screening.

The Fanboys cometh. Director Kyle Newman interviewed at StarWars.com and Sci Fi Wire, while Billy Dee Williams talks to SciFi Scanner.

Meanwhile, TFN has the final theater count and a Chicago premiere report. And for those of us who are going to have to wait, Newman tells us what to expect on the DVD.

• Bale’s short fuse. A recording of Christian Bale cussing out a crew member on the set of Terminator Salvation proved embarrassing for all involved, except maybe the guy who made it into a kicking techno remix. (And these guys.) Harry Knowles defended the actor, which might mean more if it was coming from someone other than Harry “Is Hollywood watching? Are they impressed?” Knowles.

• Slumdog Millionaire star joins Airbender. M. Night Shyamalan’s Avatar adaption has a new Zuko – Dev Patel. Fan reaction has been mixed – folks are happy to see more diversity, but many are bothered about the implications of the film’s only Asian actor playing the villain.
• Someone too committed to Sparkle Motion. There have been rumors floating around of a Donnie Darko sequel. Now, io9 has word of the direct-to-DVD S. Darko. Honestly, I have a hard time believing this isn’t a prank…
• Bloop. No WALL-E sequel in sight. Phew.

Okay, to be honest I’m not sure if it’s actually new, but I certainly haven’t seen it before. (via)

TFN is urging fans to write to the Weinstein Co. to get them to bring Fanboys into more cities. Here are a couple of clips to get you all fired up.

The long-awaited movie is opening February 6 in eight cities (Austin, Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, New York, Philadelphia, San Francisco and Seattle.) TFN and director Kyle Newman are giving away tickets to Chicago and San Francisco. Folks who are in those cities? The movie’s wide release is dependent on you.

Most of this ‘news’ is old news (cancer in, cancer out, cancer in again) but there are a few new clips. (via)

Not so shiny. Catherine Hardwicke is out of Twilight sequel. (Robert Pattinson’s envy must be at least twice the size of glitter budget.)

Of course, the real interest for many of us is the book’s numerous creepy undertones. And finally, for funny Twilight news, aka the actual reason to bother reporting any of it, check out the puppet version.

• Someone has already gotten high and dreamed this movie. Among Harrison Ford’s upcoming projects is a J.J. Abrams comedy. The actual film sounds way too much like Anchorman to be of interest, but my mind is going to a place where there’s a buddy picture with Spy Daddy instead. Make that happen, J.J.

• Taking it slow on Batman sequel. Christopher Nolan still playing it coy on a third Bat-film, and who can blame him? Let’s just hope we avoid the X3 situation. Of course, who needs a sequel when they can just rerelease the ones they already have?
• WB running out of Harry, considers Beedle. With J.K. Rowling in no hurry to turn out more books to feather their money tree, Warner Brothers is supposedly thinking about adapting Beedle The Bard. Umm…
• The rest of the garbage. Fanboys official site; No Jurassic Park 4; Beauty and the Beast 3-D in the works; Sigourney Weaver and the brewing Ghostbusters sequel?
  

I guess this means the release date is somewhat solid? (via)

Ladies and gentlemen, the Fanboys movie poster. Mmm… derivative! And not in the good way.

• At least it’s more respectable than Twilight: Diana Gabaldon’s wildly popular time-travel romance series Outlander has been optioned by Essential Films, with Braveheart’s Randall Wallace on script. This is great news… For my mother!

• I did not know this: Ewan McGregor is in The Da Vinci Code follow-up Angels & Demons. Is his Italian accent better than his American one?
• On-again, off-again: Preacher is back on the big-screen menu. For now.
• DO NOT WANT: An eight-hour Superman movie? Dude, no. Just no.

Ho-hum. It’s now been moved to January, Harvey Weinstein tells the Los Angeles Times. There will be “a major promotion with Comcast, who’s arranging for a big advertising tie-in for us on the film.”