Club Jade

Santa Maul has officially woken to ring in the holiday season! Santa Maul is (mostly) proud to represent the rage and chaos of this most ridiculous season, and as such Black Friday is his favorite day of the year! Nevermind that he has been awake on the Twitters for several months: Only now can his true mission begin!

• If you shop at StarWarsShop this weekend, you can procure a Princess “Peek-a-Boo” floaty pen. Santa Maul is mildly perplexed that despite the recent refrain of Star Wars being for everyone, the action pen only shows images to please those who wish to gaze at the half-naked women. What of the lovers of the half-naked men? Santa Maul implores StarWarsShop to think of them – and offers up his dim-witted but supremely virile cousin.

• If you are brave enough to visit my true domain, the mall, delightfully overpriced kitchen store Williams-Sonoma is offering yet more Star Wars gear. Give into your hate!
• If you are wise enough to do all your Sithmas shopping online, Amazon has many filthy deals on DVD and Blu-Ray.
• If you have children or immature adults to buy for, other deals may be procured at Entertainment Earth. Santa Maul is particularly tickled by the Darth Vader golf club cover, for nothing says boorish bureaucrat like golf.
• Licensee Sideshow is running a contest to win a Blackhole Stormtrooper, the very name of which gives Santa Maul the giggles.
• ThinkGeek has many things on the sale, from the useful to the ridiculous.
• Geeks are sure to find something noteworthy on Wired’s wish list.
• One might also wish to give your loved ones actual books. Santa Maul recommends Club Jade’s reviews of holiday offerings Star Wars Art: Visions and The Jedi Path.

Go forth and buy, weaklings! Make Santa Maul and his unholy master Darth Sinterklaas proud this Sithmas season!