Filk Friday

Tomorrow is Carrie Fisher’s birthday! Let’s celebrate by making this week’s featured filk my favorite Leia filk from the archive! Yes, this one is the best, my absolute fav, a classic of our times, one which… :::clickclickclick::: yes, it’s here somewhere, I’m sure, this great homage, this wonderful…::click:: ::click:: ::clickclickclickclick!!!::

Are you kidding me? You mean to tell me we don’t have a single by or about Leia in the entire Club Jade Filk Archive??? No so much as an “Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Brassy Gold Slave Girl Bikini” or a “Princess of Power”? How can this be?

Clearly this is an oversight that must be rectified immediately. Thus, I inaugurate the first ever Filk Friday Challenge: Princess Leia!

Write and post your best Leia-based filk in the comments here. It can be sung by or about her, but she must be central figure of the filk. Include your screenname, filk, and the song your filk is based on. All submissions are due by 11:59pm (PST) on Nov. 2, and will be added to the Archive (under the new category Readers, for non-CJers). The winner will receive my undying appreciation for filling this glaring whole in our collection as well as the honor of being the Featured Filk in two weeks (Nov 3). Readers are welcome to post comments and/or lobby for their favorites, but in the end, my opinion will be the sole judge of victory.

Bring forth the challengers!

9 thoughts on “Filk Friday

  1. Kelly

    Oh come ON! Are you saying “Don’t Cry for Me Princess Leia” isn’t archived???? That’s a travesty!

  2. SirRogue

    There is only one song from Musical Edition archived here, as a preview, since it would be a bit of a flood to archive all 50 or so songs here. Nor would it be eligible for victory anyway, since I had at least a small co-authoring hand in it (if I recall correctly, that was one of the songs that was my idea, but Jeff actually wrote it).

  3. Joanna

    I included a link to my Star Wars blog. I wrote a parody to the song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” be the BEATLES (I love them. So, that’s my entry.

  4. The Infinite Force

    I Wanna Know Who Leia Is

    To the tune of “I Wanna Know What Love Is” by Foreigner.

    She showed up in a disguise
    Threatened me with a detonator
    But then I had a sweet surprise
    She’s the hot child of Darth Vader

    Now I got a feeling so sublime
    Could it be some indigestion
    No it’s my genitles this time
    I forgot I even had them

    In my life there’s been dancers galore
    But this girl here isn’t no whore
    Can’t give her Han, but I’ll give her my love
    She must be from heaven above

    I wanna know who Leia is
    Her love I’ll pursue it
    Got a question for Threepio
    Can Hutts and girls do it

    Now I’ve got her all dressed up
    In a shiny golden costume
    We played some tonsil hockey
    Then I threw her brother to his doom

    In my life Leia’s a wonderful gift
    Wouldn’t trade her for the whole Cron Dift
    She even thinks my cooking is great
    My sweet Princess, let’s conjugate

    I wanna know who Leia is
    Her love I’ll pursue it
    Got a question for Threepio
    Can Hutts and girls do it

    Took her on my barge today
    Leia thought my ride was pimp
    Gonna make Skywalker pay
    Because he called me a fat blimp

    Everything was going good
    Had my woman at my side
    But then she pulled upon her chain
    And I keeled over and died

    In my life I’ve had gambling and vice
    But out of them all, only Leia was nice
    How could you tell me our love was a lie
    Maybe it’s for the best I died

    I got to know who Leia is
    Her love I pursued it
    At least I found out firsthand
    Hutts and girls can do it

  5. Sunnyskywalker

    Is it cheating to post old filks? I think these are on my LJ already… but here they are anyway.

    Filk #1, sung by Leia:

    You’re So Vain, to the tune of the identically-named Carly Simon song.

    You walked onto the Death Star
    Like you were walking onto a yacht
    Blaster strategically firing everywhere
    Your shooting it was was so hot
    With one shot to the holocam and
    Another to the comm
    And all of the stormtroopers
    They ran for cover, they ran for cover, and

    You’re so vain,
    You probably think this song is about you
    You’re so vain
    I bet you think this song is about you
    Don’t you? Don

  6. Sunnyskywalker

    If old ones don’t count, here’s a new one. And then I’ll shut up, I promise!

    Leia’s Got A Gun (to Aerosmith’s “Janie’s Got A Gun”)

    Dum, dum, dum, sweetheart what have you done?
    Dum, dum, dum it’s the sound of my gun.
    Dum, dum, dum, sweetheart what have you done?
    Dum, dum, dum it’s the sound

    Leia’s got a gun
    Leia’s got a gun
    Her whole world’s come undone
    Because of Vader and Tarkin
    What did her daddy do?
    What did he put you through?
    They said when Leia was arrested
    They threw the princess in a cell
    Now man, they have it comin’ Now that Leia’s got a gun
    She aims to blast the Empire all to hell.

    Leia’s got a gun
    Leia’s got a gun
    Her Rebellion’s just begun
    Now the Empire had better run
    Tell me now it’s untrue.
    What did her daddy do?
    He tortured his own daughter
    The Sith has got to be insane
    They say the spell that he was under Palpy’s lightning and his
    thunder made him not entirely stable in the brain.

    Run away, run away from the pain yeah, yeah yeah yeah
    Run away, run away from the pain yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
    Run away, run away, run, run away

    Leia’s got a gun
    Leia’s got a gun
    Her Rebellion’s just begun
    Now the Empire had better run
    What did her daddy do?
    It’s Leia’s last I.O.U.
    She had to take him down quickly and plot to blow his battle station
    She said there’s no time for sorrow. The Death Star’s got to go.
    Please start R2D2′s examination.

    (Run away refrain)

    Leia’s got a gun
    Leia’s got a gun
    Leia’s got a gun
    The Empire had better run

    Leia’s got a gun
    Her Rebellion’s just begun
    Now the Empire had better run
    Because Leia’s got a gun
    Leia’s got a gun
    Her Rebellion’s just begun
    Now the Empire had better run
    Leia’s got a gun

  7. Figrin

    Short Cute Princess (in a White Dress)
    Original song: Long Cool Woman (in a Black Dress) by the Hollies

    Episode IV I was onboard
    Workin’ for the ISB
    Devastator chasin’ a Corvette
    Rebels were tryin’ to flee

    Boardin’ the cruiser through the airlock
    Killin’ traitors who had me annoyed
    Just about to call up the Vader man
    When I saw this woman program a droid

    Her pair of curly buns made me open my eyes
    My blaster was ready to stun
    She was a short cute princess in a white dress
    And she’s aimin’ at me with her gun
    With just one shot I was a bad mess
    Cuz that short cute princess got it done.

    I saw her headin’ to the bunker
    With a tall Wookie at her back
    When they surrendered, I thought we had ‘em, boy
    But we never thought those freaks would attack
    Well, suddenly we heard those Ewoks
    And everybody started to shoot
    A-jumpin’ outta trees and bushes
    And just then, a furball’s horn gave a toot

    Well, we chased ‘em back into the forest
    And then she was alone at the base
    Well I told her not to move
    “Put your hands up real smooth,”
    But she thought a little faster
    And I couldn’t see her blaster
    She’s a short cute princess in fatigues now
    Shot me twice with a glint in her eye
    Well, the guys in my whole squad, they believe now
    That that short cute princess wasn’t shy

    -Figrin

  8. Yav

    I’m dating myself with this one. If you didn’t see ESB in the theatre you may not remember this song. Thanks to Jessa and Kelly for the betas.

    Big Buns
    (to the tune of Big Balls by AC/DC)

    Well I’m rather upper class high society
    Force gift to Alderi nobility
    And I always fill my blaster
    The rebellion never small
    The holonet say I’ve got
    The biggest buns of all

    I’ve got big buns
    I’ve got big buns
    They’re such big buns
    And they’re pretty big buns
    Cinnamon big buns
    Cinnamon big buns
    But I’ve got the biggest buns of them all

    And my buns are never bouncing
    My blaster always full
    And everybody runs and runs again
    If your name is on my hit list
    No one can blast you higher
    Everybody says I’ve got
    Great blaster fire

    I’ve got big buns
    I’ve got big buns
    They’re such big buns
    And they’re pretty big buns
    Cinnamon big buns
    Cinnamon big buns
    But I’ve got the biggest buns of them all

    Some say they look like pastries
    Don

  9. Hansgirl3

    Leia (A23-1138)
    (to the tune of Jenny (867-5309) by Tommy Tutone)

    Leia, Leia, girl that I rescued
    You called me Flyboy, while shootin’ the trash chute
    I know that I’m not like the others before
    A guy like me, a Princess can call

    Leia, I got your number
    I say, “Your Highnessness”
    Leia, I get on your nerves
    A231138 (A231138)
    A231138 (A231138)

    Leia, Leia, you’re the girl for me
    You’re a Princess and you make me so crazy
    I tried to kiss you before, but that droid came in
    They froze me in Carbonite, now; It’s love we are in

    Leia, I got your number
    I say, “Your Highnessness”
    Leia, I get on your nerves
    A231138 (A231138)
    A231138 (A231138)

    I’m free now (I’m free now)
    I’m free now
    She got me down from off that wall
    I’m free now (I’m free now)
    I’m free now
    That’s my Princess
    She didn’t let me fall

    Hey!

    Leia, Leia, who can I turn to?
    (A231138)
    On the light side
    I can always turn to you
    *repeat to fade*
    (A231138)
    (A231138)
    (A231138)

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