Movie news: The internet still loves to mock Twilight

Vampires shop at the Gap... in 1901?Baby, why you gotta be so sparkly? There’s actual, serious talk about splitting the fourth Twilight book into two movies. After all, Harry Potter is doing it, and just think of all that squeeful allowance cash beckoning. At this rate, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part I: The Pillowing will be out next Christmas. All signs point to beige, and a possible endorsement deal with the old-timey Gap.

On a more positive Twilight note (Not so! I lie!) there’s Cleolinda’s New Moon in Fifteen Minutes. And for proof that Bella Swan follows a well-worn path, five terrible male role models in guy-centric blockbusters. You’ll never guess who takes the first spot. (Okay, you totally will.) Though alas, Edward is still rather creepy, what with fufilling all those signs of an abusive relationship… By any chance does Breaking Dawn end with him getting pan-fried in lava? That I’d watch.

Moving on… First images from Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Oh baby. (Please don’t suck, movie.)

It is RDJ, after all. The first official poster for Iron Man 2 has arrived, and it looks kind of familiar…. Oh my god. Entertainment Weekly has kindly provided a primer on War Machine for the soon-to-be eager slash fangirls.

Speaking of… A (rather boring) first look at Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Naturally. Harlan Ellison wants in on Abrams’ Star Trek sequel; The Hobbit script is still a work in progress.

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